#it just feels weird because of the lack of texture

[journeytodrawiii]

Praise Watercolour✨✨

I just finished up a page in my new sketchbook, and I'm proud to say it's the first colourful page!! I'm waiting for it to dry properly before I post it, but boy am I happy!!! Watercolour just has something so ✨special✨ about it. My acrylic paints are wonderful too, but watercolour is so quick and easy. Putting it down on paper feels so effortless. Not that I don't take my time and fret over bled out sections, but I still find it much easier compared to acrylic. It also helps that I have some really wonderful watercolours, I have NO idea where they're from as I just recently found them in an old box of children's art supplies in a dusty box (and they're unlabelled). Still. Just had to praise the ✨wonder✨ of watercolour. Love them so so so so so much. Yippie!!

[irawhiti]

i'm not a dog person and i've never owned/grown up around dogs and generally find them unpleasant. However. sometimes i'll go through a brief phase of thinking Man a little bedlington terrier would be fun i think

[arr-jim-lad]

a lot of people still have trouble spotting AI art and i just want to give some quick tips on how i usually quickly recognize it

often it's the smoothness of the image that sets off my initial alarms, a distinct lack of minor textures you'd expect from real things.

sometimes the texture doesn't match what it was supposed to represent, and often things look oddly soft and rubbery. the light doesn't bounce off it quite right and it feels over-rendered.

i've seen weird random blurring on many AI works as well

The longer you look, the more you realize that it's lopsided in several places, positions and distances of objects make no sense.

A closer inspection usually makes you notice the smudged details, which i think is what truly gives it away - AI mimics real patterns, but doesn't always nail them.

More complex small objects get smudged and blended together, and complex patterns look more like an oil spill rather than anything designed with clear vision and intent.

If there are any letters, they never look real or readable

I've seen people AI generate ""historical"" objects and paintings and post them with a fake caption, claiming that they are real

Be wary, because we live in a very uncertain age when it comes to information. Learn to spot AI-generated images, reverse image search and fact-check when something seems off.

In this case it's just a fake camera, but this technology can, will, and already is used in much more malicious ways.

[prettyboykatsuki]

call it quits or call it destiny | h. umemiya.

✮ tags ; afab + fem!reader(she/her pronouns, referred to as a girl, gets dressed up by tsubaki and kotoha), reader gets their hair braided (no desc of texture) and puts on makeup, lore heavy reader backstory + personality, deliquent!reader, gap moe, best friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, themes of insecurity, mutual pining,the use of she/her for tsubaki, jealousy, confessions, loss of virginity, creampies / unprotected sex, oral (f!recieving), fingering, 18+

✮ wc ; 13.9k (dont. don't say anything)

✮ a/n ; me when i completely lose my mind because i have a weekend off. whats wrong with me.

anyways. there's no major triggers for this but be forewarned reader is meant to be very rag-tag deliquent type. she has a strong personality and generally is not feminine. she is like a mangy street cat a bit. also if u want u should listen to easily by bruno major while reading.

✮ synopsis ; you've been quietly pining for umemiya for a little over ten years with no plans of confessing.

you did not have a plan for what you would do if umemiya confessed to you first.

Once a day, everyday - Umemiya will come into your store, pause, smile, and confess his love to you before going off on his own.  

And once a day, everyday, you reject this confession with a soft huff  telling him to quit being stupid before shooing him away.  

It's become a ritual. A fixture in your daily routine that you're not allowed to ignore despite how hard you're trying.  

He's been doing it for three months, more or less. 

His reason for confessing everyday? Because he’s waiting on the day you confess back, of course. Which you've refused to do for the last few months and will continue to refuse for as long as you’ve got.  

It's not because you don't like him, alright? 

You've known Umemiya since middle school and you've liked him for about the same time. One of the core memories of your childhood is the day you met him, crying while sitting on a  swing-set, after what felt like the worst day of your life. 

( On the day you run away from home, you seriously consider not going back.  

You don’t really know how long you sit there. People walk by but most of them move on quickly. It’s mid-day before anyone bothers to stop and ask you something.  

 "I've never seen you around  before.” A strange looking boy approaches, friendly and unassuming but not entirely cheerful “Did you just move here?"  

You keep quiet, closing your eyes and hoping your lack of response is enough to push him away. Your hope fizzles out when you hear the swing creak as he sits besides you. 

"I'm Umemiya Hajime. I live close by." His voice is airy and causal. "I'm sorry you're having a bad day.”  

"Fuck off," You reply bluntly, frowning. “I don’t need sympathy. Leave me the hell alone.”  

He pauses before pushing himself slightly forward to barely swing.  

“I couldn’t leave you alone while you’re sad,” He voices willfully. "It might make you feel better to talk about it." 

In disbelief at his response, you finally look up and asses him properly. It doesn’t do much to change your initial unfavorable impression. White hair, blue eyes and a little taller than you. You’re definitely about the same age. All of that to say, there’s something weird about him that you can’t quite place.  

Despite his manner and way of speaking though, you don’t actually think he’s that weak which makes his whole aura even more unnerving to you. His attempt at being non-threatening doesn’t work for him. He’s being a real try-hard about trying to make you comfortable… 

Either way, he’s got an air about him that puts you on the defensive.  

 Talking to someone about it had never been much of any option, and somehow it pisses you off that he’s being so brazen about it.  

Maybe if you tell him about, he’ll stop prying into your business. Or maybe you’re just looking for excuses to let off steam. 

You don't care anymore. You wipe your nose with the back of your sleeve.  

"I don't live here and I didn’t move. I ran away." You reply.  

He keeps looking at you, curious, inquisitive and sympathetic.  

"Why?"   

"I broke a girls nose." You scowl. The words rise up in your throat like bile. Make you feel cornered. The wounds too fresh. "It—she bullied me for years for one. And I never fought back, it was all petty bullshit anyway and I didn't like getting calls home. I didn't care about that but she—it wasn't for nothing. She was causing trouble for Sensei."  

Umemiya keeps to himself, humming in response to your troubles. Your voice breaks on your next sentence, chest tightening.  

"It doesn't matter what she does to me but—" Your hands ball up at your first. Your throat feels thick, eyes suddenly watering as your chest throbs . "Anyway, I couldn’t let it go like normal."  

He hums. "So you hit her?" 

You shake your head, sniffling. "Not at first. Just told her to shut up. Said that she didn't know what she was talking about. She hit me first..." You screw your eyes shut, sighing. "...said she was gonna spread rumors about him just trying to get under my skin and be malicious,” You lean back slightly and look up towards the gray sky. “I punched her after that."  

You realize he's looking at your bloodied knuckles, but he isn't making an expression that you can read easily. You don’t remember the last time you spoke to someone like this who wasn’t Tsukimori-sensei.  

"Are you crying because you got in trouble?"  

“Who cares about that?” You sigh “Sensei had to put his job on the line and take responsibility for me,” Your brow furrows in frustration. “He’s the one person I don’t want to cause trouble for,” You grip the iron chains of the swing set with a closed fist and finally admit what you’ve been avoiding to say out loud. “I don’t want him to hate me…”  

The kid besides you smiles  absently at your words. Half-way between listening and recalling something else, it seems like. You can’t help but wonder what the hell his deal is. You barely know him but you’re spilling your guts. 

He speaks after a long while. "I don't think he sees it that way. I think you should try to talk to him about it."  

You make a face, rejecting the idea. "What? No way." 

Umemiya shrugs, smiling - though it doesn't quite meet his eyes.  

"He sounds like he cares about you. If he knew your reasons, there's no way he would hold it against you. And it’s important to share your burdens with people who care for you." You look over and see him smiling somberly at the mulch beneath his shoes before returning back to what you’ve grown to know as his usual self. "Anyways, I think we should be friends. Tell me your name."  

You sniffle again. What a weird guy. Well you say that but 

You still give him your name. 

"What a pretty name," 

When you tell him to shut up again, your new friend Umemiya just laughs.  

And you find you feel just a little bit lighter.)  

That night, Umemiya walked with you to take the last train and told you to come see him again  with good news. 

You aren't sure what compelled you to follow his advice. Maybe because he was the first person who sat down and listened to you about it other than Sensei himself. 

Tsukimori-sensei was your school counselor and the only adult in your entire life that seemed to worry about. You didn't have any friends in middle school and you were a scary looking delinquent girl without a mother and a mostly absent father.  

But Sensei was always incredible gentle to you and incredibly kind. And despite what rumors that girl tried to spread  - he was never anything more than an important mentor.  

It was fucking embarrassing crying in front of him but because you were honest - you got to keep in touch with him. He attended your middle school and high school graduation - supporting you as you started to sort your life out. Became the closest thing you ever really got to a parental figure.  

Over time, you got close with Umemiya and developed strong loyalty to him. You attended an all-girls middle and high school the next town over - totaling one other friend in all six years of your remaining education. Lack of socialization meant that Umemiya somewhat became the very center of your existence. 

It was easy to visit him thanks to parental neglect. You sort of melted into his life. Tsubaki once called you his guard dog as a half-joke, but there's some truth to the sentiment. Quick to defend, quick to heel, and always happy to see him.  

You, like many people, owe Umemiya a lot. His meddling over the course of ten years gave you reason to push forward. He even encouraged you to try and attend school and not give up on living a half-decent life. 

You've got a never-ending list of short-comings but being with him didn't make you hate yourself. It made you want to be better because you knew Umemiya would accept you for whoever you decided to be.  

So despite your delinquency, you managed to graduate high school. Post-graduation, you attended a vocational culinary school and became a patisserie before moving to Furin for permanent residency. You opened a bakery and supply bread to Kotoha-chans diner.  

You made something of your life mostly 'cause of Umemiya. He's not your only friend anymore but he's still your best. Even though you never really pictured things like dating or romance - in some way it only makes sense that it'd be that meddling, kind-hearted idiot that you end up falling for it.  

Lovesickness aside, you respect Umemiya more than anyone in your personal life.  

He’s stuck around with someone like you this long after all. That means a lot to you.  

Somehow the two of you mesh well despite being totally opposite.  

You decided as soon as you realized it sometime in high school that you'd keep your feelings a secret for the rest of your life. You had a strong resolve in your beliefs about the whole thing which made it easy. You hid 'em so well even Sakura's stupid accurate romance detector didn't uncover them.  

When you picture Umemiya's future - it was easy to picture the kind of woman he would end up with. Another kind-hearted idiot like him, a social butterfly. Someone a little softer.  

In any case it definitely was not you. You didn't need it to be. You've received so much from him already, you never entertained the idea. Plus, Umemiya has dated other people over the years, so in your head there was never any hope to cling onto.  

For all reasons listed above, a requited romance is at the very bottom of your expectations.  

That's why you've been in this fucking conundrum.  

To say it was a complete shock to you when Umemiya openly confessed to you many months ago would be understatement of the goddamn century.  

He confessed right on the last day of Spring, totally out of the blue. 

(It’s a little unusual for Umemiya to call you at this hour. If it were anyone else, you’d be a little upset since you’ve gotta be up around four-am to get prepared for the day.  

It’s him though so you’re particularly tolerant, yawning as you find Umemiya on a familiar swing-set, still wearing your PJ’s.  

"Why am I out here in the middle of the night with you?"  

Your words lack any real malice as you sit down. Umemiya remains totally quiet. It's unusual for him to not immediately go on a tangent upon seeing you.  

"Oi. Earth to Hajime." You frown at him. "Did ya get beat up before coming here and scramble your brain? Give me the popsicle before it melts."  

He looks over at you and chuckles as he hands you the bag from the convenience store. You ignore his odd behavior and open up said popsicle before it melts  - carefully splitting it down the middle and giving him the bigger side before going to town on your own. He takes it from you but doesn't even bring it up to his mouth.  

Weird.  

"Did something... happen? Like seriously happen?" You take a long lick of your iced treat. It's melon flavored, your favorite. "Seeing you frown doesn't feel right. Gives me the heebie-jeebies."  

He cracks a little smile at that. It makes you feel better. He shakes his head.  

"Mm, nothing happened. I just have something I want to tell you."  

You nod in understanding. "'kay. Take your time."  

He blinks, surprised.  

"Hm? Aren't you gonna scold me for wasting your time?"  

"Nah. Whatever it is must be serious if it's making you all introspective or whatever. 's fine. Bring me coffee tomorrow and I'll forgive ya."  

His lip twitches up. "I l really like that about you."  

You feel yourself flush and wave a hand at him. "Ahh, shut up."  

He pauses for a second then shakes his head. "Mm. It's more like I like everything about you, actually."  

You twist your face in confusion. "What are you on about now?"  

"That's what I came here to tell you." Umemiya says after a deep breath. He says it so casually you wonder if you're mishearing him - leaning back to look up at the stars. "I really, really like you. I just felt like I had to tell you that"  

You stare at him in disbelief.  

"Wha—huh?"  

He doesn't even flinch as he repeats it.  

"I like you."  

"No the hell you don't."  

He furrows his brow with a light laugh. "I just told you that I do, silly."  

"But that's—" You don't say the word impossible. You really want too, but you know exactly how he would react if you did. You simply shake your head. "No, you don't." 

"I thought you might respond like this so don't worry but how about you?" He shrugs then looks at you intently. "I thought you might like me too."  

Your eyes go wide. Oh fuck.  

You feel like a deer caught in headlights. You know you should be happy about this, deep down. That'd be the normal response.  

But you just feel complicated as shit instead. Fuck does he mean? Umemiya.... likes you? There's just no way that's true. Not after all of this time. And how the fuck does he know you like him back when you've been keeping it in? 

You can't bring yourself to look him in the face and lie. Your heart rises to your throat as you shakily stand to your feet.  

"Stop...thinking whatever you've been thinking. I'm going home." You reply in complete panic. 

 The minute you say it, you turn on your heel so you don't have to look at his face. You don’t even want to know.  

And before Umemiya can catch you and try to talk it out, you bolt. 

What the fuck was that?)  

For the last few months, you've been avoiding the topic of conversation as much as you humanly can.  

The possibility of Umemiya even just accepting your feelings was already far beyond your imagination, but him returning them? Confessing first? That wasn't even in your realm of possibility.  

Ever since then, you've been losing your mind trying to force your life and train of thought to go back to normal. You’ve done all of the math on it.  

Realistically, you can't ignore him. Your lives are so mixed together it'd be impossible unless you went under protection and changed your name which you briefly considered. You thought of turning him down but you’re pretty sure you wouldn’t be able to actually do it despite how good you are at keeping it in. Either way, your best option logistically is feigning ignorance and trying to keep the whole thing out of your mind entirely which should've been easy.  

Tricking yourself into believing the whole thing was a dream? Lightwork.  

Except. Except.  

Umemiya just won't give up.  

He confesses to you again every single day. Worse, he doesn't care whose around to hear him. No one in your friend group seems even the tiniest bit shocked by it which doesn't help the situation. You can't get used to it, can't get used to him being so fucking cheeky as he stops you midway through normal conversation to tell you he loves you.  

He's persistent to a fault and while you've done well feigning immunity - you can't survive like this.  

You've graduated to tell him to go away and treating the whole thing like some big joke.  

But honestly? 

You're avoiding having a proper conversation about it. Umemiya is especially keen in not letting you forget that. And determined to make you confess.  

But you're not going to to let him sway you.  

You've got principles, after all.  

__  

After you close up shop on Friday, you get dressed to attend a kickback with all of your friends.  

It's a barbecue technically - commemorating the end of summer. Togame is really into grilling and in their weird domestic partnership, Chouji really enjoys hosting. They've done this once or twice a year ever since they started living together.  

Once you've finished cleaning up the store, you take the train to Kotoha's place - mistakenly assuming you'd leave as soon as you got there. However you failed to realize that Tsubaki and Kotoha would be getting ready together.  

You got jumped as soon as you walked through the door - so now you're wearing a different pair of clothes that Tsuabki got for you and waiting for them to finish getting you dressed up so you can leave.  

Tsuabkino is inches from your face while Kotoha braids your hair. You feel itchy and exposed but with both of them here there's no way you're going to get out of wearing it. 

"Can we just go?" You grumble, not enjoying the feeling of being poked and prodded.  

"No," Tsubaki insists, frown making her expression pinch. "You have half an eyelash on. Sit still." 

"He'll be happy to see you dressed up," Kotoha adds, trying to encourage you. You frown and look down.  

"Whatever. I don't care about makin' him happy."  

The both of them pause and stare at you until you fold under the pressure - screwing your eyes shut and making you flush.  

“Such a blatant lie.”  

Tsubaki giggles. “Right?”  

Your face feels hot. "Ahhh, alright already. Shut up."  

"Honest girls are much cuter," Tsubaki coos. You give her a half-assed glare.  

"Don't you like Hajime? Why're you trying to set me up with him still?" You mumble. You always think they’d make a perfect pair.  

"Of course I like him. He's my prince." She smiles at you. “But it’s a little different to how a certain someone loves him. And well, if you knew the way he looked at you…"  

You frown, feeling hot all the way up to your ears as you ball your fists up and look down at your lap. "Whatever." 

"You should stop trying to worm your way out of it," Kotoha adds, much less sweetly. "You know how he is. He couldn't give up on you for ten years like some idiot."  

You blink. "Huh? But ten years would mean -"  

Kotoha braids your hair even tighter making you wince. "I know. You're both stupid like that."  

"Don't be mean, Kotoha-chan. And you, be a little more honest, okay?"  

You sigh deeply. 

"Ain't like anything is gonna happen either way. I already told you both I'm not accepting his confession," 

"Cause you're a huge wuss, yeah we know."  

You elbow Kotoha lightly.  

"Maybe nothing will," Tsubaki hums mischievously.  "But it feels nice to dress up for him, right?"  

You pretend the thought doesn't make your hear flutter.  

Tsubaki does you the kindness of laughing lightly before moving on. 

__  

You arrive to the function an hour later than planned and stick mostly with Kotoha and Tsubaki until half way through the evening.  

Loosening up with a few drinks, the three of you part ways to catch-up with different people. It's not rare you see them, but it's not often everyones schedules allow them to be in the same place.  

Lucky for you, Umemiya does you the courtesy of not confessing during the first half of the night before food comes out.  

(Though you do spit beer in his face after he calls you pretty, which he takes on the chin after cleaning up.)  

After dinner, the function simmers down significantly. People quietly break off into groups and chat to each other into the late night. About that time people split whatever desserts they brought among guests.  

You brought cookies and something specifically for Chouji and Togame as thanks for hosting.  

Towards the end of the night, you find yourself sticking sort of close to Umemiya. Though he's having his own one-on-one conversation with Hiragi while sitting next to you , turned the other way.  

You busy yourself catching up to Suo, Sakura and Nirei - all of whom you consider yourself close to.  

Of them, you're the closest to Nirei which always surprises people. 

The kids a total wimp but he helped you years ago study to graduate so you're a little closer to him than everyone else. He's a great guy though and you hang out alone sometimes too.  

The conversations gone far left at this point in the evening.  

Suo leans back against his chair and looks toward Sakura besides him with a lazy smile.  

"Sakura-chan would make a great wife." 

You snort listening to them bicker. Sakura grows beet red, throwing an empty beer can at Suo's head that he catches gracefully.  

"Go die."  

"What? You're good at domestic work and you have a cute side, Isn't that all you need?"  

"Shut up. I'll kill you."  

As Suo breaks out into laughs, Sugishita comes down from the kitchen just in time to catch the argument. He crinkles his nose up.  

"Oh, Sugishita-kun. 'Sup."  

He nods to your greeting as he leans against the wood railing of the outdoor deck.  

"What the hell are you two talking about?" 

'What? You mean about Sakura being a good wife?" Suo asks. Sugishita crinkles his nose. 

"Don't phrase it so repugnantly but yeah I guess." 

"We were talking about marriage 'cause I was complaining at work."  

"What's happening at work?" 

Nirei sighs as he lays it out again to Sugishita after having given the spiel to the three of you once.  

"One of my superiors at work is a lot older than me and keeps bringing up marriage," Nirei explains woefully. "It's all he talks about. He thinks I'm seeing someone."  

Sugishita frowns. "Eh? What gave him that impression?"  

A good question you hadn't considered asking.  

You raise your brow at Nirei who laughs awkwardly while he holds your gaze.  

"You know that picture of us from highschool? When he came to the cafe at your school festival?"  

You smile spitefully, crinkling your nose in faux distaste. "The one wear we wearing those stupid maid costumes?"  

"Yup. That's the one. It's a good picture of us so I keep it on my desk and he saw it so..."  

"You keep a picture of just the two of you on your desk? No wonder he got that impression.” Suo adds.  

You sense Umemiya suddenly tense which you find weird. He's still talking to Hiragi though when you glance from the corner of your eye. You brush it off.  

Nirei blushes, elbowing him.  

"Shut up. I've got group pictures and stuff too. But he just singled out that one cause you know,"  

You nod in understanding before it dawns on you. Your eyes widen. "Oh, shit? Does that old man think you're dating me?"  

Nirei closes his eyes and sighs. "He won't even let me correct him." 

You pause before breaking out into genuine laughter.  

"Pfft, that's terrible." You reply sympathetically, taking a sip of your beer before giving a mischievous grin. "Maybe you can make it work for you though, eh? Tell 'em we got hitched forreal and then I'll call you on the phone and nag you to get home for dinner so you can leave earlier."  

Nirei acts like he's touched making you laugh even harder. "You'd do that for me?"  

You give him another toothy grin. "I'll even help you fake some wedding photos. We'll be accomplices." You lean back with a shrug. "You gotta wear the dress though." 

Sugishita laughs at that. "You being a blushing bride is a little..."  

You snort, shooting him a dirty look "Shut up."  

"Deal. Not a bad plan honestly." Nirei says with a sigh. "Whatever gets me out of the office early."  

"Even if that means being married to me?" You joke.  

He smiles at you. "Aw, what do you mean? That's the best part."  

You chuckle at him good-natuedly and the conversation quickly moves on.  

The alcohol is starting to make you dizzy so you eventually tune out as the four of them talk, glancing at Umemiya from the corner of your eye.  

You swear you catch a glimpse of his jaw ticking.  

__  

For the rest of the night, Umemiya is off.  

No one else can tell. You know that because the atmosphere remains light until everyone leaves around two-am. There's no blips or tension, no awkward pauses. 

But you know Umemiya. He's been real weird all night and it's bugging the shit out of you.  

It's a well past two now, and you've just left the late night cab you took with him. Umemiya lives close so he's walking you home.  

He's usually energetic after a get-together like that so his dead silence is weirding you out. You're pretty good at figuring his feelings out but for once you feel totally clueless.  

It feels as if even the cicadas and crickets have gone to sleep. There's nothing bu the streetlights overhead and soft glow of the moon, coupled with the soft click of your shoes on the pavement. Occasionally, a car will pass by.  

At one point, it becomes too much. There's still a few minutes until you're home.  

You stop in the middle of the sidewalk and turn around to look at him. Umemiya pauses, startled as he stops with you, and doesn't smile which only makes your concern worsen.  

"Oi. What's up with you?"  

"Hm?"  

You cross your arms over your chest.  

"Don't 'hm' me. You've been in a bad mood few for the last few hours. It's gonna bug me all night if I don't ask, so what's up?"  

He stares at you.  

"You noticed?"  

"How could I not notice?"  

"I was hiding it pretty well, I thought." He states more than asks, half-smile on his face.  

"Yeah. But well," You shrug. "I'm always looking at you for better or for worse. So. What's wrong?"  

He stares at you a long time before sighing, running his fingers through his hair. You've never seen him like this. You've seen him pissed off before, seen him mildly irritated - but never this... pouty? It's not like he's pissed.  

He's quiet, taking a deep breath of cool night air before sliding his hands into his pockets and taking a good look at your face. 

"Do you know that I like you?"  

Your eyes widen as you blink wildly.  

This is what he wants to talk about? 

He pins you down with his stare, hands in his pockets and intense as ever.  

"Don't even think about bolting this time, okay? I'm asking you seriously. Do you?" 

Your eyes flicker down the concrete - feeling extremely uncomfortable and suddenly sweaty. You shrug, unsure of what else you could say or do.  

"Hard not to know." You mumble. "You tell me everyday." 

"But do you get it?"  

Your frown deepens.  

"Of course not. How could I possibly get something like that, stupid?"  

He takes a deep breath. "But you like me, don't you?"  

Panic sets in. If you could sink straight into the Earth you would.  

"...Never said that." 

He calls your name quietly. "Look at me, at least. Stop running away from me and just look." 

You know you're being stubborn but you can't help it. You've kept it a secret for ten years and all of a sudden he wants you to tell him you like him? You've held it in for so long already and he's telling you not to run away.What other choice is there?  

One wrong move move and everything will come crashing down inside of you. You can't even lie about it either.  

Damn it.  

"I won't look." Your voice is warbly and it makes you feel so pathetic you could die, tucking your chin petulantly "Don't wanna,"  

Umemiya frowns at you.  

"If you say you don't like me I'll let it go."  

You remain very quiet and close your eyes tighter. He sighs softly, making your chest hurt.  

After a minute, you muster up the courage to be dishonest - determined to drop it at all costs. You're slow as you pick your head up.  

"I don't like you," You repeat slowly, carefully - trying not to stumble the words. "So quit it, alright?"  

He laughs humorlessly and holds your gaze.  

"That's the first time you've ever actually lied to me. You're terrible at it," 

"I'm not lying." You snap. Umemiya smiles somberly when he sees tears on the corners of your eyes. He steps closer to you. You freeze. When his hand reaches cups your cheek, you feel your legs lose all their strength and close your eyes. You're terrified to even look at him, not wanting him to see what you know is obvious on your face.  

He wipes them as he tilts your face towards him slowly. 

"Tell me, at least. If you're going to refuse me, don't I deserve to know why? Do you hate the idea of dating me that much?"  

You shake your head. "Stupid. How would anyone hate that?"  

"So I deserve to know why you're turning me down."  

A long moment of silence draws you out of your feelings. You guess that's fair enough. Maybe this way he'll leave you alone  - as long you're clear about your reasons. He’s the earnest type after all.  

You manage to suck up all your tears and clear your throat enough to give him an explanation. 

You step back a little from him, putting some distance between you as you stare down at the sidewalk. 

"You know... I respect ya more than anyone else. You've always been someone I admire. And I uh, owe you a lot. So I only want the very best for you and all." You scratch your neck, taking a deep sigh. "For me... regardless of my feelings, I want you to be with someone who really fits, you know? Well put-together and everything. Someone that suits you better"  

He pauses before frowning.   

"Regardless of your feelings? Does that mean you were willingly pushing them aside?" He says distraught. "For how long?"  

You shrug, trying to lighten the conversation. It’s too devastating otherwise. "About ten years, give or take." 

The sheer distress in his face makes you want to keep talking, just he doesn’t look so disheartened. Like some explanation will clear things up.  

"It ain't a bad thing, Hajime. You've given me a lot and I'm serious when I say I want the best for you. I love you, if that's what you wanna hear. I'm content just being besides you as your friend." You say with a shrug. "I can be kinda selfish but there's a limit to my greed,yknow."  

He looks like he's in shock. 

"Wanting someone to love you back isn't greedy or selfish."  

You find you don't have anything to say with that, but hope he drops it for the time being. 

Umemiya stares at you seriously. It makes your breath hitch meeting his eyes, blue with all the depth in the world. You feel like you can't pull yourself from his gaze.  

"And there was never a possibility? Not once that I could've liked you? That I wanted to be with you?"  

"It doesn't matter." You say. "And no, it never crossed my mind.."  

"Stop saying it doesn't matter. Of course it matters. Your feelings matter the most so don't toss them aside so easily. Do you really believe that you're not right for me?"  

You aren’t sure how to answer him.  

"You think you're not good enough for me." He says with some realization more than asks.  

It's the first time you see his face change. When you look up, he looks well and truly angry. The whole thing is confusing.  

"I'm sorry," You say. It’s such a timid thing to say but you don’t know how else to fix.  

"It's not—I just don't like hearing you talk about yourself like that. I don't like hearing someone I love get spoken about like that.” 

You ignore the sentiment again and wait in the quiet. You always thought this would be an easier conversation to have but it hurts.  

He sighs a bit, getting closer to you again. He’s less upset than before but there’s something else in his expression.  

"You wanted to know why I was upset earlier right? It's because of you and Nirei-kun." He admits.  

"What about him?"  

"You talked about marrying him so casually. I overheard and it bothered me all night."  

Your eyes go wide.  

"I—it wasn't serious."  

"I know that. I never thought I was that childish either but you being married to someone else as a joke." He laughs humorlessly. "I really hated it. That’s why I asked if you know how much I like you."  

You feel frozen in place by his admission. 

Umemiya steps towards you faster than you can muster up a counter for why he shouldn’t bother.  

His arms around you feel sudden. His grip on you is so tight, like you could slip through his arms all at once if he loosens it. He smells like cologne and beer and summer but it's not unpleasant. He rests his chin on your head and lets out a deep breath.  

Your chest is throbbing for different reasons now. Shit. Shit, shit, shit.  

"If you won't be greedy, then you should at least let me be." He lets out a long, tense breath "At least let me have what I want." 

You're stuck. Your mouth moves faster than your brain.  

"Why me? And why now?"  

Umemiya pulls away to stare down at you. You can't bring yourself to turn away from him. 

"It was always you. I felt guilty... for wanting to you that way when you were a precious friend. Wanting to treat you delicately when you were strong and proud." He admits. Hearing him say that out loud embarrasses you to no end, “But it was those things that made me love you. Strong yet clumsy. Prideful yet honest. Awkward yet trying to be gentle. Loyal. And always considerate of everyone. Of me, when I was taking care of everyone else."  

Your stomach feels like it's going to erupt. You're losing your resolve faster than you know how to mend it.  

"Stop saying stuff like that."  

Umemiya holds you tighter and shakes his head. "No. How else will I get you to change your mind?"  

"I won't change my mind." You say stubbornly.  

"I love you." He repeats.  

You squirm.  

"Stop it,"  

"I want to be with you. I want to kiss you. I want to hold you. I want to stay by your side forever. I want to do things with you and make you feel good. I want to make you smile. I want to grow old with you." 

Your hearts fluttering. Fuck.  

"Idiot. What are you saying? Let me go."  

"It has to be you for me. I won't have anyone else no matter what you think. The person I love is you. I love you."  

"Hajime." Your voice is shaking. 

His drops down to a whisper.  

“I can’t change how you think of yourself overnight but I can tell you that there’s no point in trying to push me away. Whether or not you accept  me, we’ll never stop being side by side - so please stop fighting it.”  

You put your hands on his chest, trying to push him away. “Stop it,” 

"Please tell me it's okay to love you how I want too," He says, soft and doting while he crushes you in his arms. "And please love me in return."  

You put your hands up to your misty eyes wanting to wipe them away as he melts through the rest of your resolve like it's nothing. It's hard not to be moved. You've been pretending for ten long years that you don't love him at all and he's declaring his love for you like it's the easiest, most sensible and sane thing in the world.  

A kind-hearted, willful, meddling idiot. How you are you supposed to push him away when he's holding you this tight?  

"Shit," You voice, huffing as your voice shakes. "Don’t be stupid, alright? If you’re so insistent, I wont let you back out if you meet someone else."  

He laughs wetly.  

"I already tried meeting other people, but it's still you. Always was."  

He smiles above you. 6'2 with watery eyes with the look of pure relief like it's the best news he's ever heard in his life. It's too much for you. Your heart is racing so fast you wonder if you're gonna die.  

"Can I kiss you?" He asks.  

Your eyes go wide as you look away, not wanting to look too eager. "That's..."  

He makes another puppy-dog kinda face. "Please?"  

You're embarrassed by how easy it makes you give in. "...Do whatever you want."  

He laughs bright and warm as his hands slide up to cup your cheeks and kiss you with all the passion he can muster. It's intense, almost suffocating the way he slots his lips against yours and breathes you in. He doesn't let you up from it, doesn't part from you for a second even when he pulls away - noses brushing and stealing the air from your lungs.  

It's your stupid first kiss and it's perfect - so perfect you wonder if you're going to wake up in a dream. He kisses you hard and makes you stand on your toes to chase his lips when he pulls back. Elated. Ecstatic when you grasp the front of his shirt and keep kissing him when he stops. 

He pauses before littering your whole face with pecks even as you weakly protest, unable to stop frowning but feeling the happiest you've ever been.  

There's so much longing in between you, you feel like you could die. You feel helpless.   

"Can I come home with you?" He asks, once he stops - only holding your hand a short distance away. "I want more time together." 

You feel your skin burn hot as you nod, all while trying not to read too much into it. 

"Yeah."  

__ 

You barely get to lock your door behind you before Umemiya crowds you in the door way.  

His arms circle around your waist, chin resting against your shoulder.. Broad chest against your back, you try not to flounder as his warm voice caresses your ear.  

You're going to die young if he keeps this up.   

"I love you,"  

You flush. "Enough already. And let me go so I can wash up."  

"Do you need to sleep early? Thought you were closed tomorrow. Wanted to talk a little longer."  

You pause.  

"...Sleep?" 

"Hm?"  

You both freeze as the miscommunication dawns at the same time. You try to pull away from him as soon as you realize, skin burning hot. You're quick but Umemiya is quicker.  

"Hajime." You say gravely. "If you don't let me go, I'm gonna kill you."  

"No way," He laughs  as you attempt to wriggle out of his grasp. "Is that why you let me in? Were you expecting something?"  

"Shut up! Don't say anything, I swear I'll —"  

"Don't be like that, baby. I'm not making fun of you. Hey, turn around. Look at me."  

You're upset but you think the reason is more embarrassing then the feeling.  

"Don't wanna,"  

Umemiya laughs as he gently turns you around to face him. In your utter mortification, you can barely bring yourself to meet his gaze.  

"Stop staring."  

He doesn't.  

"Do you normally invite guys in just 'cause they ask?"  

"Wha—no! It's because it's you, stupid!"  

He smiles in satisfaction.  

"You shouldn't say yes so easily even if it is me. What if I took advantage of you?"  

You think he's just being smug for the sake of it, which is pissing you off. You grab him by the front of his shirt.  

"Fuck off. Maybe there's a reason I said yes."  

He pauses before his eyes widen. You push your hand against his mouth before he blurt anything else out but he's quick to pry your hand away.  

"Don't say it." You hiss.  

"I was planning on taking my time. I cherish you and I want to make sure you know that. I'm just a little surprised you’re moving so quick when you were telling me not too long ago."  

You can feel the tips of your ears growing hot, feeling even more self-conscious. "Whatever. If we're just going to sleep I still need to wash up."  

He keeps his arms behind your back so you can’t move.  

"Hey. Didn't say that. It's not like I don't want to do it with you. Just don't want you to regret anything."  

You give him an flat look. "I was prepared to give you my virginity and you're worrying about that. Unless you're planning on backing out, there's no way I would."  

"Your—" His jaw drops a little.  

You drop your voice down just a little close as you grab his collar.  

"If you get it, then hurry up and fuck me. Stupid Hajime."  

He gives you the dopiest smile you've ever seen while your face grows increasingly hot, leaning to in to press a kiss to your lips. He brushes his nose with yours. Laughter from deep in his chest.  

"Yes, ma'am."  

__ 

Once you give Umemiya permission to have you, you get the feeling that there really is no going back from here.  

You both know it. The tension in your bedroom is so thick you can barely breathe around it.  

Umemiya lands gently onto your bed - sitting up as he holds you by your waist and pulls you over to him. You're so aware of his touch it makes your nerves feel they're on fire. You're not a total virgin - at least not enough to be feeling this worked up over someones hands lingering on your waist.  

But they're Umemiya's hands—Hajime's hands, so you can't rationalize your thoughts of out it. His hands are strong and big, a little calloused and rough from the gardening and fighting. You can feel how much he adores you in a gesture so small it makes you concerned for your own heart thinking about how the rest of the night will go.  

He invites you into his lap gently, so pleased by the way you go to him so willingly. You spread yourself over him with your knees on either side of his thighs. He's big - wide and broad.  

Your barely hovering over his bulge as you lean your weight onto him. His hand barely brushes underneath your top, just barely touching the skin.  

You shiver.  

"Are you really sure this is what you want?" He asks. "I don't mind waiting as long as you need,"  

You give him an bored look. "Not very convincing when you're makin' a face like that,"  

He chuckles nervously. "That bad?"  

You nod before adding a little bashfully. "Dunno if I mind, though."  

He buries his fact against your chest all of a sudden making you jump.  

"The hell?"  

"You're so cute when you're honest like that," He mumbles into your chest, cheek pressed against your tits.  

"Jeez, shut up. What're you talking about?"  

Umemiya pulls back and leans forward - enough to breach the inches of space between you. Nose to nose, your eyes meet. A bated breath, you put your hand on his shoulders and work up the nerve to kiss him.  

It's chaste. Mostly for you to break the ice otherwise you're sure you're gonna pussy out.  

He smiles at you when you pull away.  

"See what I mean? So cute," He hums, and leans in again. "Come on. Kiss me again."  

Something about him is different when he tells you to kiss him. It's not smug or cheeky. But it's not casual either. Softness tinges his words, his touch - his whole demeanor screams like he loves you absolutely. It makes your heart rate pick up again, hands shaky as you try not to lose your nerve.  

He's restraining himself though. How he intense he could be vs how soft and calm he is being. You know Umemiya like the back of your hand so you want him to do what he wants. It's hard to find your voice.  

"You don't have to.." You cast your eyes down in embarrassment. "…hold back with me, either. I'm not some maiden."  

He smiles at you a little. "You really do know me better than anyone, huh? I was keeping it together pretty well."  

"Look I know I’m kinda difficult…I'm not real good with stuff like this either," You fidget with the collar of his shirt with your free hand. "But once I say yes I don’t back out. So don't worry about scaring me off or putting too much pressure on me or whatever. ...'s fine to just do what you feel like. I’m scared out of my mind but I wouldn’t do that to you,"  

“Don’t know how long it’ll take but I’ll do my best to make you feel secure. Might take some time but we’ve got our whole lives.” You flush at the implication. He smiles a little. "Whatever I want seems like a lot to give, though."  

"Well...depending on what, I'm might not be good at it,"   

He shakes his head. "I don't want anything like that."  

"What do you want then?"  

"You." He says easily. Your stomach flips. "All of you. I just want to make you feel so good you can't stand it. Want to worship you top to bottom. There's not a single part of you I don't want."  

You flush. "The hell... I meant like a blowjob or some shit."  

He laughs. "I know. And I want that too, another time." He hums, taking a deep breath. "Right now I just want you to feel so good for me. Is that okay?"  

You can't look at him. You can barely stand how bashful you're being, but you can't even play coy. Something in you is bursting at the seams.  

You love him so much you don't recognize yourself, or your voice, or how you're acting. It makes you sick but you can’t do anything but go with it. "Yeah. 's okay, if it's what you want."  

"It is," He says, leaning in. "All I've ever wanted."  

You ignore the latter half of his comment as he finally goes to kiss you again.  

He pulls your body close to him as you do. Until your chest to chest, arms wrapped around the span of his shoulders as you press your lips together soft and slow.  

He slides a hand underneath your top, undoing the clasp of your bra. He lets his palm stay on the center of your back while you keep kissing - straps of your bra falling down your shoulder as he splays his fingers to feel more of your skin and hold you. Hugging you close to him, his other arm wraps around your torso. His forearms feels especially strong they way they hold you by the waist.  

You're so close to him. Kissing him so deep, his tongue sliding against your lips. Something about the kiss is languid but the touch is so hot it makes your skin burn. You feel wrapped up in him, can't even tell whose heartbeat you're hearing. 

More of your weight ends up in his lap as you feel your knees go weak. Something hard presses against your clothed cunt and you gasp a little into his mouth.  

"Oh, shit." You mumble in surprise. Umemiya laughs.  

"You're making me feel good." He hums.  

Your face heats up. "I barely did anything." 

"You just being on my lap is more than enough."  

You make a face at him before rubbing yourself over the zipper of his jeans, slow and deliberate trying to get a feel for it. You hear him moan, nearly jumping out of your skin in surprise.  

The way Umemiya moans is a lot for you to process. Breathy and a little low. It resonates through your whole body like a caress.  

You make a few more tentative passes over his bulge, just to hear him do it again. Driven by your instinct more than anything, you lean into kiss at his jaw - making use of the limited experience you do have to try and draw more sounds from him.  

"What're you thinking about?" He asks, still breathless. Maybe amused.  

"Like the way you sound." You mumble in reply.  

"I thought I told you I wanted to take care of you, hm?"  

You frown. "So what? I can't touch you at all?"  

He thinks on it. "You can touch me everywhere else and you can have your way with me later, if you want it. I don't wanna cum too fast."  

"I'm just..."  

He shakes his head. "You're underestimating me. I'm still a guy, you know? With a woman I love at that. There's no way I would make it through our first time if I didn't focus on you. Don't pout,"  

Hearing him describe you in such an embarrassing way makes you flush. You roll your eyes half-heartedly. "Fine, whatever."  

He smiles.  

"Good girl. C'mere. Lay down."  

You decide not to think about how effected the praise makes you as you comply.  

Umemiya lays you down carefully, making sure you're comfortable before hovering over you. He looks a lot more imposing from this view - the dim lights of your room making his face seem more well-defined. Your nipples harden in arousal, peeking from underneath your shirt as he stares long and hard.  

"You're so beautiful to me."  

He leans down and presses a hot kiss to your jaw, just underneath your ear before slowly kissing down your neck. Open-mouthed kisses along delicate skin, tongue sliding over every patch he scrapes lightly with his teeth. You fidget underneath him, a dull throbbing between your legs. You try to figure out what to do with your hands but you’re too nervous.  

He kisses your throat where it's extra sensitive and you bite back and involuntary noise. 

"Don't hold your voice, please?"  

"It's embarrassing,"  

"It's not," He assures, bumping his forehead to your shoulder lightly. "I want to know what makes you feel good. Let me pay attention to you."  

You frown but nod ultimately.  

Umemiya isn't the first sexual encounter you've had in your life. You've done other things, but you've never really gone all the way with anyone. All of your other partners were mostly strangers - people mutually interested in using someone else to try and get off.  

This is the first time anyone has taken this much time with you. A little kissing and groping, sometimes touching your chest.  

No one's ever touched you like this, though.  

His hands feel like they're all over your body no matter where they actually end up being. Makes your heartbeat rain drumming on a tin roof. Makes your stomach tingle, a heat in your calves and a prickly feeling on your back. Your whole being drowning with pure anticipation.  

"Take this off for me." Umemiya mumbles. You nod, feeling absent as you wiggle yourself out of your tight little tee and toss it somewhere.  

The air shifts again when you're naked. His eyes drink you in, tracing the soft lines and edges of your body. Looking over scars and stretchmarks with pure, blown out wanting that shoots lust straight into your veins.  

You want him to fuck you so bad it's killing you but the very thought makes you feel so shy you could die.  

"You're beautiful," Sounds dirty the way he says, makes it spill from his lips like wine tipping over a glasses edge. "Perfect. Every inch of you is so perfect."  

He proves this to you by kissing you again. Running his hands over your skin. Up against curved sides and down against your arms, brushing the back of your biceps and forearms.  

Infatuation in his touch ruins you. Makes your voice let out. You can't think of anyone whose treated you so preciously in your entire life and you find you don't resent it as much as you should.  

(You find it feels so good to let someone touch you so kindly. A touch like you're being loved.)  

Nonetheless it's embarrassing. Of course it is.  

But it's so hard not to feel pulled in when you feel the way he kisses you. Draws a trail with his lips and tongue from jaw to shoulder blade - kissing down your biceps with his hands on your body, taking  gentle inhales of your scent.  

Anticipation makes your stomach tie in knots but finally he relents. Both hands squeeze the soft weight of your chest, palms brushing your hardened nipples.  

"Fuck."  

He laughs a little, heavy with want. "Yeah? Do you like being touched here?"  

"Mm." Is the best reply you can get out.  

He brushes against the tips with his fingers in a feather-light gesture, testing the waters before rubbing with a little more pressure. Your body jolts from the stimulation, wetness pooling and dampening your underwear. He leans in and takes one of your nipples into his mouth making another dull wave of lust wash through you.  

And he makes sure to pay attention to both. It's just like him to be so attentive to some shit like that. Your spine arches as he sucks on your sensitive nipples, letting his tongue flick across them and giving into a sweet friction. You buck your hips up against instinctively, gripping onto the sheets as your sense of restlessness grows.  

Your voice is whiny to your own ears but you can't calm down to save your life.  

"You're taking too long," You huff. He laughs lightly, looking up at you from underneath his lashes.  

"Don't be impatient." He tsks.  

"It's enough already," 

He shakes his head. "Nope. Still got a long ways to go. Promise you'll have me when you're ready for it, so just try and focus on feeling good."  

You make a frustrated sound. "It's embarrassing being the only one feeling good,"  

He pauses before standing up on his knees. He takes his black t-shirt off in one swift go until his torso is bare, and undoes the top button of his pants. He gives you a little glance. "Better?"  

There are too many layers of that to process in the moment it happens. You mumble. "A little,"  

He beams. "Good. Now let me take good care of you,"  

Sliding down lower, he kisses you from sternum to navel. Hands gripping at the softness of your sides, smoothing over the bare skin as he his thumb finds the waistband of your skirt. He glances up at you, silently seeking your permission. You nod back at him, watching him slide the short skirt away from your waist.  

The sudden air feels cool against your skin. He presses his cheek against your belly, both hands on your hips..  

"You're gorgeous. Even more gorgeous than I thought. I feel so lucky being able to touch you when you're this perfect.” He praises endlessly.  

You cover your face with your arm.  

"Ugh. Quit it. You're sayin' too much."  

"Seeing you get so shy when I praise you a little is so cute." He trails his lips down further and further - just above your sex before stopping. "You're so cute."  

He sits back, standing up and bending your legs slightly at the knee. You hold the position as you feel him massage your calve. Thumb drawing hard circles in the muscle, slowly working his way up to your knee. He kisses you afterwards trailing the same spot his hands were touching seconds ago before moving onto the other side.  

There's nothing you can call it short of worship. The nagging feeling that it's undeserved is washed away each time Umemiya holds your gaze.  

Devotion colors every touch no matter how small. And it’s so obvious, so prominent - it feels outright wrong to deny the fact it’s there.   

You think the closest thing you can compare it too is the way Umemiya gardens. A patience as his fingers root through earth and soil, a kindness towards delicate things that makes even hours of work under the sun look beautiful and easy. His expression is what's most uncanny - what makes you you feel so hot. 

An expression that says he loves doing it from the very bottom of his heart - not even a hint of apathy or complaint.  

A face that says he loves every long, drawn out motion and actions of repetition all fro the very core of him.  

Having it directed at making love to you so blatantly makes you more aroused than you know what to do with. You don't know how to let yourself be treated like the most cherished flower in Umemiya's garden - and you aren't so sure how you're meant to get used to it no matter how much it makes you feel...nice. You don’t have any other experience.  

Which is why you're trying to be patient. Trying to be at least temporarily secure in whatever he sees in you that makes him worship every inch of you, memorizing all your ins and outs.  

Umemiya places hot, wet kisses on your inner thigh before laying himself between your spread legs - breath barely hovering over your sex.  

By the time he gets there, you feel utterly melted into your sheets. Your mind is hazy, impatient and wanting as strong hands secure your thighs. He's so close.  

"I wanna eat you out. Is that okay?"  

"If you don't do something soon I'm gonna kill you."  

He laughs warmly. "I'll take that as a yes."  

You pause. Umemiya waits.  

"I didn't uh," You clear your throat. "Wasn't planning on getting laid so y'know. Haven't shaved in a while."  

"Were you worried that I'd change my mind? I like it for the record. Feels natural." Umemiya says. "It's your body so there's nothing I would dislike about it."  

"You're too much." You reply back in earnest. You cover your face with your arms. "So cheesy."  

"I'm being serious." He says suddenly solemn with how sincere he is. 

The sudden change is amusing. You pause before breaking into genuine giggles, unable to help yourself.  

"You're really somethin', yknow that?"  

He's quiet for a long time. Long enough for it to catch your attention, turning your gaze more clearly towards his face. Swiftly, he pushes himself up to catch your mouth in another kiss. It stuns you a bit, very different to all the rest. More teeth and tongue than lip.  

"I like you," He murmurs, forehead to yours. "How can someone be so cute?"  

"Would you quit embarrassing me and get on with it?" 

He smiles. "As you wish,"  

Umemiya settles back down between your legs after easing your panties off and putting your feet flat on the bed to give himself more access. You can barely look down at him doing it. His fingers brush the slick hairs back gentle as he uses his thumbs to spread your pussy apart and look at you more intimately.  

You can feel him. Feel his every breath and movement. He stares at you awestruck. "How is all of you so pretty? Even here it's such a beautiful color."  

"Stop looking so much,"  

He takes a breath, taking in your scent one more time before pressing a kiss to your clit. You make an attempt to squirm away from his grip as his finger dig into your thighs and hold you down. The strength of it knocks the wind out of you, forcing you into place. Umemiya pushes his tongue and gives you a long, tentative lick through the seam of your cunt.  

Your whole body breaks out into shivers at the sensation. The warm weight of his tongue on your sex makes feels like an electric current through water - your toes curling as he makes the same few passes over and over. He collects your pooling arousal on the tip as he drags upwards and flicks your clit tentatively. You grind against his face instinctually, hips chasing the pleasure. Amused laughter vibrates against your core as you do, mumbling at you to be patient while he's still face deep in it.  

You let out another pitchy whine before he finally stops teasing. He lays his tongue flat against your clit, cupping it lightly before drawing it around experimentally. He watches carefully as he plays around with pressure and angles - trying to see what makes you react the most. You can feel how closely he's watching you. 

You cover your mouth with your hand when he does find it, your voice breaking off as he licks carefully right where you need. He smiles into your cunt as he toys with your with the sensitive bundle of nerves, pleased by the change in your reactions. The obvious pleasure he's making you feel.  

Something blooms into your chest. You've never— 

"You're—" You close your eyes, hands tangling in the sheets as you break out into a fever. "Ngh, never had someone l-lick me,"  

He must've heard you because he seems to laser in his focus the minute you say it. He's lapping at your clit so deep, licking precisely and holding you with nose against your bush.  

You reach down tentatively, pushing back the hair falling in his face and he gives you a look so lovesick you want to run away. The pressure changes gradually, more intensely.  

It feels better somehow. Makes you feel restless. Your whole body curls in tight with want at the sensation of it, the lower expanse of your belly tensed. You're shaking as you drift closer to the edge, arousal upped by the wet sound of him sucking your clit.  

"Hajime," You warn, spine starting to arch as you helplessly try to pull away from the intense sensation. It's not familiar to your body, so much so your mind can barely make sense of what's happening to it, "Cumming—c-cumming!"  

Something in you goes undone as Umemiya keeps pace during your orgasm. All the tension inside of you suddenly comes loose - specks of white matter behind closed lids as you screw your eyes shut. Your back curves up into arch, your hips trembling, your insides pulsing. It comes running into you, crashing into your body as waves of pleasure drown out the noise in your head. He eats you out until you feel borderline hysterical.  

You feel melted and reshaped by him - yanking him off when he continues to be insistent after you're too oversensitive. He laughs when you pull him away, resting against your thigh as you take worn out heaving breaths.  

He kisses the inside of your knee as you calm down, bright smile on his features - painted pink with a slight flush. "You came. I'm so happy."  

You look at him in shock. "You're a scary guy."  

He pushes up to kiss your temple, voice soft. "Did I scare you?"  

Your stomach flutters, tucking your chin. "You were intense, but I didn't... hate it or anything."  

"Yeah?" He grins, pressing a few kisses to your cheek and face before whispering against your ear. "Then, is it okay to go farther?"  

You nod silently. Umemiya smiles.  

He stands up on his knees, pushing his hair back as your eyes are drawn to his pants. You reach out for the waistband of his pants unthinkingly, hooking your finger into it. "Isn't it stuffy?"  

He blinks, frozen before rubbing a hand across his face. "Ah a bit, but it's fine."  

"Take 'em off. Please?"  

Umemiya looks unusually distressed by the request, but follows through without another word. You watch him undress - revealing the tight black fabric of his boxer briefs snug against his waist. Your eyes go wide as you see the outline of his cock - head still half hazy. You voice your unfiltered reaction.  

"Your dick is so big,"  

He laughs breathlessly. "Are you trying to stir me up? What's with you?" He pauses to lay down besides you. You turn to lay on your side and face him a little better. "You're being cute. I'm not used to seeing you so docile."  

"Shaddup," You reply half-heartedly. Your body is still on fire but it knocked the wind of you to cum once already. "Your fault."  

He grins, a hint of smugness as he laughs. "That's true."  

"You gonna fuck me?"  

"Mm, yeah. Gotta open you up first or it'll hurt."  

"I've put stuff in before. Toys. Should be fine."   

"Still wanna play it safe. It's your precious first time after all."  

You make a face before pulling him into you, hugging him tight as your whole body breaks out in a shameful flush. "Then hurry up and do it already."  

His arms slide underneath where your laying, holding you to him as he hikes one of your legs up. He slides his free hand in over your leg - his forearm holding your thigh. You press your face to his neck and shoulder - hiding your expression. "Guess I should huh? You were always impatient,"  

You can barely tell him to shut up, the way your body waits for it. A warbled little noise leaves your mouth as he slides his middle finger through the sticky folds of your cunt - careful as it catches on your hole. Wet and so aroused, the first finger he puts in goes in completely smoothly with no real effort 

Umemiya speaks low and soft as he holds you. "I don't know if I can get used to seeing you like this. I'm glad no one else but me ever wil You’re really all I think about lately," He catches the lobe of your ear between his teeth gently. Your head spins. "People misunderstand you because you're prickly, you know? For a long time, only I knew what it felt like to be liked by you. I liked that,"  

"Why are you—mmgh," 

He slides another finger in carefully after the first one slides inside of you with no resistance. His voice is so hot against your skin, the low bass of it in your skull as he speaks so close to your ear.  

"Don't get me wrong I'm happy seeing you with so many people surrounding you. But I was a little sad too. And it kept getting worse over the years until I couldn’t ignore it. I couldn’t figure out why for a long time and then it clicked,” Umemiya explains. You realize half way delirious this is his real confession. God, you’re gonna kill him. “Suddenly it was all I thought about. I wanted to be special to you. I wanted to monopolize you. It was my first time having thoughts like that,”  

Another finger slides into you easily. Umemiyas fingers are so much bigger than yours. Thicker than they are long. The stretch is enough to make you gasp.  

“Hajime—“ 

He curls them up, careful until he finds the spot he’s looking for. Your body reacts, another sensation of pressure as his middle finger rubs tenderly against your gspot. You weakly try to wiggle away as he holds you firm.  

“I felt a little guilty, too. You’re my very best friend. You’re independent and diligent. Tough. But you know, when I saw you for those few months - all I could think about was how much I wanted to spoil you,” He whispers. Something in your body shifts the way touches you. Pushes in further and further - stretching until it’s easy for him to be inside. “Somehow everything I liked about you became so cute I couldn’t stand it. I couldn’t help but want to dote on you over every little thing even though I knew better than anyone you didn’t need something like that.”  

Your eyes well up but not necessarily from emotion. Totally overwhelmed. You don’t feel like you’re gonna cum but there’s something else that’s waiting and each time he thrusts his fingers into you it comes a little closer. Your voice is shaking.  

“It—fuck, quit talking. Somethings gonna—“  

His smile grows a little. It’s the first time it looks so hungry.  

“I was happy in general when I realized you liked me too. Even when you were being stubborn, I liked the way you couldn’t turn me away. I liked how happy you looked talking to me as usual as if that alone was something so precious,” He hums, so focused and precise as he stretches you open on a third finger but never once losing his train of thought. Like saying all of these comes to him so easily it doesn’t matter. “I didn’t want to corner you. But it felt like I couldn’t rest until you were mine completely. Which is why I’m being so unfair to you. Why I’m so persistent. ” 

Your voice breaks on a whine. “It’s gonna come out—“  

“You make a pretty face when your heads filled with nothing but me. I don’t think it’s bad to wanna stay that way,” He hums, almost conversational as he presses a kiss to your skin. “Go on. Let go,”  

Something hot sprays between your legs as Umemiya fucks you open on all three of his fingers.  

A rush of warm liquid squirts onto your sheets as your legs shake wearily. Umemiya marvels at the mess. Your hands curl into fists, nails digging in your palms as he finally pulls them out - leaving you stretched, almost gaping.  

You lay limp in soaked sheets as you pull away from Umemiya with a very weak glare.  

He’s smiling at you, dopey and lovesick.  

“Too much?”  

Angrily, you smack at his bare chest over and over, trying to recover your pride.  

“You’re insane. What’s,” You swallow thickly. “What’s with you.”  

He shrugs. Wordless, he flips you onto your back again before hovering over top of you. Pressing his forehead to yours, he brushes your noses together and plants a tentative peck on your lips as if trying to gauge whether or not you’re upset. He melts when you kiss him back, smiling happily.  

“Were you like this with your other girlfriends? No wonder they broke up with you,”  

He laughs. “Mm, no? I was more of a gentleman.”  

You break out into another exhausted fit of laughter.  

“Pfft, yeah? Guess I’m pretty special,” 

“Yeah. You are.” He kisses you again. “Wanna keep going or are you too tired? I don’t mind if we sleep.”  

“Stupid. I said it already didn’t I? Hurry up and fuck me.”  

“Okay, okay. Let me go get the condom from my wallet,”  

You wrap your legs around his waist and stare up at him plainly as he tries to move, keeping him pinned in place. You’re frowning, brows furrowed with a hard glare. He stares at you.  

“Did you want something else? Water?”  

“Want you to fuck me,” You restate, arms reaching up to circle around his neck. “Just do it already.” 

He pulls back to look at you seriously.  

“Do you know what you’re asking?”  

You flush. “Of course I do. Stupid. Are you trying to get me to say it out loud?”  

“I might think I’m deluding myself otherwise.”  

You sigh, looking at him flatly as you try to tamp down the part of you that’s screaming to be more tactful.  

“Don’t bother with the condom, a-alright? Or pulling out,”  

He looks like he’s experiencing the shock of his life. “But…” 

“Stop being dumb or I’m never gonna have sex with you again.”  

He nods suddenly solemn. “Fine. But,”  

You give him another look that silences him. He sighs again, getting the message before kissing your cheek and pull back to sit up on his knees between your legs. Pulling his briefs down, his cock springs free. It looks a lot bigger than you saw underneath the fabric, weighed down from it’s own weight even though it stands up stiff. He opened you up with three but you wonder if it’ll be enough not to stretch you open.  

You reach your hand out to touch it tentatively, feeling it’s weight and heft. He clears his throat but seems content to let you. The palms of your hands cup the shaft, feeling all the veins pulse. The tip is sticky with precum. You pull your hand away, another sudden wave of self consciousness overwhelming you.  

Umemiya hovers over you again, placing he length of his cock against your pussy. You shift a little feeling it slide against you, hard and hot.  

“Gonna put it in now, okay?”  

Nodding, you put your legs up. You take a deep breath when the head pushes in, letting out an involuntary noise. You feel well-stretched but the thickness of his cock is still enough to make you feel it in your legs. Umemiya is focused above you, barely sliding the tip through your folds as you open up around him. The air feels punched out of your lungs on just the first inch.  

His face is strained is he holds his hips steady, leaning down to tap your foreheads together. “Feeling okay?”  

“Mm,” You nod, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Fine. Feels different.”  

“Different?”  

“Yours is bigger than all the stuff I own,” You explain. “Feels hotter. Harder, too.”  

You feel his cock twitch inside of you suddenly, shocking you. He smiles sheepishly.  

“Gonna push in a little more, okay?”  

You nod, watching as Umemiya so slowly presses his cock into you further. Enough that it doesn’t hurt when you take him, as much as it just feels like something is inside of you. You feel a warm sense of satisfaction at how full you feel. You feel like him like he’s in your stomach, taking up so much space. After a while of pushing, stopping, and going again  - he finally bottoms out.  

“You feel incredible,” He murmurs, half-smile on his face. Your stomach flutters. “It’s hard not to cum right away. Feels so good inside of you. I love you.”  

You feel yourself twitch, frowning at the expression of delight Umemiya has. You put your hand against his fact to keep him away but he kisses your palm and moves it. Bottomed out, he grasps both hands and holds them  - pinning them to the bed as you watch him wide-eyed.  

“Think you’re used to it?” He hums, clasping your fingers together. “Is it okay if I move?”  

You feel so damn bashful. “It’s okay.” 

He kisses your forehead. “I’ll go slow.” 

As promised, Umemiya pulls out carefully before pushing back into you. You’re so wet that it slides in without any real friction. It takes a few thrusts of him going slowly for your body to get adjusted to the sensation. After a few motions, though - it starts to feel different.  

Starts to feel good. Really, really good.  

“Oh,” Your eyes flutter open. “Shit. You c-can go faster.”   

“Yeah?”  

You nod, trying not to seem too eager. 

When Umemiya picks up pace, you feel your  the whole lower half of your body weaken all over again. Something in your legs, your spine go soft against the bed underneath, a sudden unusual arousal swelling. Somewhere in deeper as he cocks thrusts against your gspot, knocking against it with more force than before. The change in pace coupled with the visual of Umemiya over you, face drawn together in focus as he fucks you is too much. Split open on his cock, you can hear how wet you are each time he moves.  

“Feels…” Your words come up empty. “’s so much.” 

“Yeah? Is it too much for you, baby?”  

You shake your head as your thoughts get increasingly cloudy. It’s like there’s nothing else your body can focus on. The way his cock drags against your sensitive, silken walls. The feeling of being full to empty and then full all over again. The way your pussy gets so much wetter each time he moves, sloppy and sucking him in so tight. You can feel your body want for him.  

Umemiya lets go of your hands, sliding one between your bodies. Palm resting on your sex, he lets his brush against your clit. The difference it makes is significant, makes your eyes go wide. He smiles a little, hair falling in his face as he pushes it up with his free hand.  

“That’s it,” He hums, contented to keep at it like this. “Feels good, right? Your holding onto me so tightly it’s hard for me to pull out even though you’re so wet.”  

You make a whiny noise and wonder if other peoples first times feel this good or if you’re just outrageously lucky. You decide on the latter he fucks you faster and matches his thrusts with the movement of his fingers. You’re warm all over - skin scorching as your hands find his biceps and shoulders to cling onto.  

Your voice is so whiny when you call out for him “You’re so deep, ngh.”  

He laughs, deep and raspy. “Yeah? Tell me what you’re feeling,”  

“It feels good when you’re in me.” You reply drunkenly. “Want it faster. Please,”  

He complies with your request almost immediately. You cry out loud, physically incapable of holding the sound in as he gets to fucking you faster and harder. Your pussy is throbbing. Senselessly horny, you pull Umemiya closer to you as he fucks you and smash your lips together. You feel so good, so thoroughly fucked and completely out of it. He’s in you but you want him even closer, want the scent of his skin to mark you.  

A second time your body builds up to that familiar feeling but it’s so much farther inside. An orgasm pulled right from your core. Stomach tied in knots as Umemiya fucks you hard, you wrap your legs around his waist and take him. 

“That’s it. You’re so good. Cum on my cock, sweet girl. Let me feel it” He murmurs against your skin, holding you close. “You’re making me feel so good. So cute. Go ahead, it’s okay. Let me see how good I’m making you feel.”  

Pliant to his request, you hold onto Umemiya for dear life as your body gives into second orgasm. Your nails dig into his biceps as the built up arousal gives way pleasure - and you cum hard with his cock sheathed all the way inside of you. All the wind gets stolen from your lungs as you press forward with another kiss, your whole body trembling violently as you let go.  

Umemiya sweet talks you through without letting go once, only stopping to take a pause when you’ve fully ridden out your high.  

You stare up at him in a daze as he takes a breather to kiss you, still hard as he’s bottomed out inside of you.  

“You gonna cum soon?”  

“Mm,” He nods. “Yeah I’m close. If I move, I will.”  

“’s okay to cum in me,”  

Umemiya laughs warmly. “I’m already about too. You’re not helping,”  

You smile a bit as you hug him close to you and tell him again that it’s fine. Before long, he holds you too, whispering the same three words into your neck as he finally lets it out. It’s a weird feeling, thick white ropes of seed spilling into the deepest parts of you.  

You don’t really hate it, though.  

“I love you,” Umemiya repeats. Tired you don’t try to fight yourself.  

“Love you too,”  

__ 

The next morning, you’re stirred away by the sound of your front door unlocking and the sound of Kotoha’s voice echoing through your apartment.  

You’re still half-way asleep, so it barely dawns on you that anything is off. Not cognizant enough to think twice, your body tries to go back to sleep.  

Or it does until you hear a very loud shout coming from your kitchen that wakes you up with a start.  

“No fucking way,”  

You sit up suddenly, hearing faint conversation before the sound of steps barreling towards your door. You just barely manage to pull the sheets up over your chest before she comes storming through the door of your bedroom.  

You watch her eyes scan your entire room, mentally collecting data before she finally lands on you. As your brain starts to load back in, your eyes go wide with horror at the look of pure scandal on her face.  

Fuck. You were supposed to be having dinner with her and Tsubaki tonight. Usually you confirm with them in the mornings since your up. It’s not uncommon for her to drop in when you don’t reply to check in since you live close by. 

Fuck.  

“You—Oh, I have to text Tsubaki-chan, I can’t believe—“  

Before she gets to finish her sentence, Umemiya appears behind her in your door way. The sight of him only adds fuel to the flame of your embarrassment. You went another round or two before bed last night and it looks like it too. Shirtless in sweats he left over a while ago, his biceps are covered in scratch and with a few hickies, he’s wearing his hair down with a cup of tea and a very apologetic smile.  

You cover your face with your hands unsure of how to deal with the feeling of pure mortification.  

Kotoha snaps a picture of your room that causes even more distress.  

“If you don’t delete that right now, I’m gonna kill us both.”  

“In your dreams.”  

Umemiya laughs warmly. “Please don’t kill each other.”  

He slides past Kotoha coming over to you. Bending down to kiss your forehead, he pulls the blanket up over you so you’re more well-covered. You give him an incredulous but Umemiya is unfazed - smiling as bright as ever. 

“Good morning,”  

“I can’t believe my eyes,” Kotoha says. She points at Umemiya. “You, go put on a shirt.”  

“Fine, fine. Stay for breakfast,” Umemiya says with a smile. “It’ll be nice having it with my two favorite people.”  

You make another face as Umemiya gives you a long, affectionate look before disappearing. She sighs as she looks at you, pinching the bridge of her nose.  

“I would ask if you’re gonna meet us for dinner but you don’t have a choice anymore so show up at seven. I’m gonna leave before that tactless idiot comes back. We’ll talk later.”  

You nod in understanding. She turns to leave but then turns back with a genuine smile.  

“And, well - congrats. He’s a tactless idiot but he does love you or whatever. Cherish each other,”  

You flush, nodding your head. “Yeah…thanks.”  

With that Kotoha leaves quickly. Umemiya returns still shirtless, pouting a little when he notices she’s gone.  

“She left already?”  

“Of course she did. I can’t believe you would invite her for breakfast.”   

Umemiya shrugs. “No point being coy about it. I thought it’d be nice. I was looking for a shirt but I guess I don’t need one now,” He sits besides you on the bed, turning to face with a goofy smile. “Anyways, good morning.”  

“You already said that.”  

“You didn’t say it back,”  

You frown. “G’morning,”  

He smiles suddenly  before grabbing you from underneath the blankets and sheets - pulling your naked body ontop of him as he grins. Sunlight pours through the window as he holds you to his chest, kissing the crown of your head before pressing his cheek into your hair.  

“Mm, yeah. It’s a really good morning after all.”  

“You’re stupid.”  

“And you love me,”  

You fail trying not to smile.  Damn him. You're so happy it hurts. You roll your eyes.

“I guess so.”  

[mysicklove]

𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐘 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋

DAY 7: FEMINIZATION

With: Yuuji Itadori

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: sub! yuuji, gn! reader, men in skirts/feminine clothing, yuuji being shy and embaressed the entire time, teasing reader, praise, reader refers to him as a "she" and "her" throughout the entire thing, handjob

A/N: In my head i see yuuji to be very shy when it comes to sex. ppl most likely dont see him this way, so it may be ooc of him. idk u tell me.

“Is this really necessary?” 

You grin, freaking out on the inside, but trying to hold your composure. Dark eyes flicker to yours, and he pouts, tugging at the fabric with nerves.

You managed to convince Itadori into wearing the cutest pink short skirt, so short that his tip peeks out from below the fabric, and he's uselessly pulling it down to try to cover it. He wears a white v-neck tank top, that slightly exposes his chest due to the lack of cleavage he possesses. And finally, you convinced him to wear white frilly thigh highs. 

His face matches the skirt, and he's gulping under your gaze. “Its embarrassing,” he complains lowly, padding his way over to you. He stands in front of you while you sit on the edge of the bed, looking up at him. Your hands drag over the soft fabric, admiring the texture, and rubbing it between your thumb and pointer finger.

“Soft,” You mumble, leaning forward and resting your head on his hip. He jumps slightly when he feels you just graze his groin. The boy reaches his hand down and rests it on your head, petting it with a blush on his face.

“My pretty girl.”

He uses the other hand to cover his eyes, a wobbly smile on his face. “I’m not a girl,” Yuuji replies, looking away from you as his body begins to heat up.

You grin at him, and move backward on the bed, pulling him forward toward you. You rest your back against the headboard and pat your lap, signalling for him to sit on it. He pauses, and then shakes his head.  “Cmon, sit Yuuji.”

“I'm too heavy,” He replies, playing with his hands a little nervously.

You grab them and pull them forward, sending him stumbling forward and into your lap. He quickly maneuvers himself to straddle you, not letting his entire weight on you. He didn't mind having to hold himself just slightly up, he rather that then to be nervous of him accidentally hurting you. “Aw, you are showing,” You say, smiling at his lap.

The skirt must have flipped upward with his movements, because now his cock is on full display. It's hard, and throbbing against the pink fabric. He pulls the skirt down immediately, hands moving to cover it as quickly as possible. 

You pout at him, hands moving on top of his. “Wanna see your pretty cock. Bet it will look so cute with your outfit,” You murmur, pressing your lips to his chest, covered by the thin tank top.

His ears burn, and his eyes flicker to yours. “You're being so weird,” He half-heartedly complains, gulping when he feels your mouth bite one of his nipples. 

“Can't help but be a perv to my cute little girlfriend.”

He lets out a small whine, arm raising to cover his face. It's so rare for him to be flustered, usually pretty confident in his position in bed, but the second he tries something new he seems to crumble under your gaze. It was cute, watching your usual puppy like boyfriend turn shy. “B-Boyfriend…And I'm not cute, nor little,” He uselessly reasons to you, fidgeting with anything his hands can find.

You pull back his skirt before he could process your movements. Yuuji lets out a small yelp, and tries to cover himself, but you move his hands away. “Hmmm, don't know, your girl cock seems to get excited whenever I mention the word girlfriend,” You tease, rubbing a finger up his shaft, as his face heats up.

“G-Girl cock? Stop it,” he whines, gripping onto your waist with a pout. It gives you a view of his chest, and you hum, dragging your finger over his right nipple. He doesn't say anything, letting you do what you want, even if he jumps lightly from when you gently pinch him.

Eventually when you grow bored, and his cocks begins to leak, you move your hand to his mouth. He makes eyecontact with you, asking for confirmation, so you nod, and he moves himself toward the cupped palm and spits in it. 

You coo at him, and he shakes his head, pulling away from the hand, and watching as you move it down to his dick. Your now wet hand begins to stroke him off, him twitching in your hold, trying not to get too excited and blow his load too fast. 

“Look Yuuji, you are so wet.”

He sighs, and without realizing the meaning behind it, nods at your words. You in return kiss his cheek, using your other hand to rub your hands up and down his chest. “Such pretty tits. So big.”

“B-Been working on my chest for a bit,” He whispers and you can't help but laugh. He wasn't lying though, over the years you've known him, his frame has gotten bigger, and with it, his pectoral muscles. 

He groans, eyes falling shut, and unconsciously leaning deeper into you. More of his weight falls on your lap, but you don't mind, focusing solely on your hands traveling his body. “Is it okay if I cum?”

You chuckle at him, teasingly pinching one of his nipples. “So soon?”

He whines at the words, feeling the familiar blush creep upon him. No matter how many times you've done it, he always gets uncharacteristically shy, and way too excited. It was like you were fucking a virgin, but you always found it cute, how the second the two of you fall into bed he can barely look at you. “Sorry.”

Your hand picks up the pace, and he slumps against you, eyes hazy as he approaches his high. “It's alright. You feeling good, pretty?”

He begins to pant into your neck, his breath warm, and his pink hair brushing against your shoulder. “Mhmmm. W-Wanna cum, please.”

You nibble on his ear, and whisper, “Tell me about how pretty you are.”

His first reaction is to shake his head and deny you, embarrassed by this entire thing, but he knows that he will cum better with your approval. So he gulps, and nods, before mumbling a weak, “I think I am pretty.”

You run a hand through his pink hair. “What is pretty about you?”

He whines your name, eyes traveling up to meet yours. Itadori continues to frown, even with his breathy moans from the stroke of your hand. You focus on the tip, rubbing your thumb around his slit, and he gasps, eyes slightly rolling back. “My–My….Body?”

You pull down his tank top, kissing his chest, and then his neck. “Super pretty. Looks so good in the cute clothing, right?” He nods, mostly out of habit, but you don't say anything, just humming for him to continue.

It's getting harder for him to think, but he needs to go quickly, because he is getting closer to cumming with each passing second. His hips begin to rock into your hand. “Um…My face?”

"One of the reasons that you are so loveable," You compliment, planting a kiss to his lips, and when you pull away, he tries to follow, looking away with a red face when you snicker at him. “One more, then you can cum.”

He tries to think about something, but the sound of your hand squelching up and down his cock is getting him distracted. He begins to stare at himself getting stroked, panting from directly above it. He grips onto the fabric of the pink skirt, and then looks back at you. “My dick?”

“She is so pretty. And look at all the attention she is getting.” Referring to his cock as a “she” makes him twitch, and he wants to hide his face again. Some part of him feels humiliated by it, and with the humiliation, came arousal. 

“Y-Yeah. Um, can I now? I’m really really close,” Yuuji pleads, making eye contact with you, and leans in so close that his lips just graze your own. 

You nod at him, smiling. “Go ahead lovely.”

He nods, pressing his lips to yours for about ten more seconds until his breaths become heavier, and his orgasm hits him. He trembles, pulling away from your mouth to bury his fingers into his skirt. Small moans are released, and you stroke him through it all, watching as the white liquid stains the pink fabric. “Good girl. Doing so well,” You coo through it all, and he tries to nod, but fails.

A couple seconds go by, and he's come down from his high, trying to catch his breath. You wipe away his cum with a rag, smiling when his body jerks slightly from overstimulation. “That was…Nice.”

“Yeah? You seemed to be pretty embaressed.”

He laughs lightly. “No, I definitely was. Being called a girl feels…weird. No offense to girls!  I like girls a lot! Just I am a boy, so it's just–weird!” He stammers out, returning back to his usual chatty and upbeat behavior. 

You laugh at him and he grins at you. “But I didnt mind it…It was fun.”

“Next time we should put you in makeup and panties,” You say, raising your eyebrows suggestively.

His eyes widen and his ears burn with embarrassment. “Panties? H-How? I am a guy, I can't wear girls underwear!” He exclaims, grabbing onto your shoulder lightly to get his point across.

You chuckle at him. “I know plenty of guys who wear girls underwear,” You lie, knowing that it will trigger some sort of reaction.

And you were right, he immediately finds himself feeling jealous. “What? You have seen guys in panties? Why havent you told me about this. You can't just say that! Who have you seen?”

You play into the joke, pushing him off of you with a grin, and turning over, looking at the opposite wall. “Can't tell you. It's a secret.”

He shakes your body to try to get you to look at him, “Secret? Hey! Don't go to sleep, this is important!” 

And by the end of it all, you convinced him to wear panties under his skirt next time.

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[dira333]

No matter the hair, you will be loved - Dad!Kuroo x Reader

for @alienaiver

Everyone keeps saying it.

"I hope your child won't have his father's hair."

It had been funny the first time and maybe even the second and the third, but by now it's getting tiresome.

"Harhar," Tetsuro laughs, and though it doesn't sound the least bit amused the other person doesn't seem to notice.

"You good?" You ask from the kitchen as soon as your visitor has left - cousin of a cousin or something like that. Somehow everyone wants to renew their acquaintance with you now that the family is growing - and Tetsuro is getting promotion after promotion.

"Sure," he says, but it lacks conviction.

"Are you?" You ask again, leaning into the doorway, your bump making every position look and feel a little awkward. "Because you're making that face you had when you accidentally took a spoon of my face mask. You can tell me willingly what's going on or I can tickle it out of you, whatever you prefer."

"If you tickle me, I'll tickle you back and then you'll just pee on yourself again."

"One time," you remind him. "That happened one time."

He's grinning now, a far cry from the desolation that had been on his features seconds before. Tetsuro leans in for a kiss, lingering after.

"What do you think the baby's going to look like?"

"Human, I hope."

He snorts. "I know, but... like... do you think he's going to have my eyes or yours? Your weird-looking toes or my long hands?"

"He?" You ask and he pulls a face.

"I know, I know, we don't know the gender yet. That just slipped out. He or she, you know."

You're quiet for a minute.

"Would you mind if he looked like you? If it was a boy, I mean?"

Teturo hesitates. You tuck a strand of his unruly hair behind his ear, and watch as it slips out right away, unwilling to be tamed.

"You're really good-looking, you know that, right?" You ask and he snorts.

"You say that because you've got weird taste. But when I was a kid-"

"When I was a kid, I had the worst, untamable curls you can imagine."

Tetsuro shrugs. "Can't be that bad."

"Uh, yes? Also, baby shampoo isn't made for curls, so you can imagine how that turned out."

"You want picture proof?"

"Absolutely."

"Coming right up," you turn back toward the kitchen where your phone lies. "I'm going to call my mom and you know that's going to take a hot minute. Can you make Dinner in the meantime?"

He groans. "Do I have to?"

"Do you want to talk to my mom?"

"Yeah, I'm on it... Pork Belly or Veggies?"

-

"Oh my god you look amazing," Tetsuro guffaws as he swipes, his head resting on the swell of your steadily growing bump.

Your mother has done her duty, sending over all the worst pictures she could find. Because you just know that there must have been some decent one lying around, though they're not mixed in with all the horrible shots of the mess on your head. Count on a mother to find the most unflattering picture of a child and call it a treasure.

"Can you imagine?" You ask when his laughter has calmed down a bit. "What if our hair textures would mix?"

Tetsuro ponders that for a second before he moves, pressing a kiss to your temple.

"Our child will be the cutest, most messy-haired being on earth."

"I'll drink to that."

-

part 2? (boy or girl?)

[scribbless-n-stuff]

Volume I: Headcanons/Imagines - Dan Heng/IL

Characters

Dan Heng IL

Warnings/Info

fluff!!

Author’s Notes

I redownloaded HSR like a week ago and got Dan Heng IL and holy shit he’s so fine. 

I CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM DAWG

Reading fanfictions of him isn’t enough atp, I need to WRITE

Whenever you touch or caress his dragon horns/tail, I imagine him liking it and then acting like those impassive cats whenever you pat them (but purr regardless).

Well, either that, or they’re (his horns/tail) really sensitive and he won’t let you touch them. (I know they aren’t, but man… let me be happy.) However, with a bit of coaxing and pleading, he’ll let you eventually <3

ALSOO during cuddle sessions, he uses his tail as a fifth limb used to cuddle you closer IUAJKHGAUSIUDAJJY <33 PLUS POINTS if he does it subconsciously and doesn’t realize that he’s doing it because he’s so sleepy :3 

Imagine — petting and caressing his tail 

It all started when you had asked Dan Heng if you could stay over at his room on the Astral Express. Rare were the occasions when you two would stay at your own rooms, it would usually be the two of you staying at either one of your rooms. 

You were just organizing your stuff for the night, quickly walking around his room, putting stuff here and there, eager to finally rest up for the night. Until there was this one moment where you and Dan Heng strided past each other, your fingers accidentally grazing over his scaled dragon tail, which glowed a bright-teal. 

The two of you stop in your tracks, slowly turning your heads to look at each other in surprise. Dan Heng’s cheeks were tinted red, while your face had a fascinated expression on it.

“Woooahh..” You speak up, in awe of the texture of his tail upon feeling it. “Was that weird?” You chuckle at him, and even more upon seeing his flushed face. Turning your body to fully face him and firmly placing your hands on either side of his waist, he bashfully looks away. 

Dan Heng tries to brush it off, “No.. It was just sudden.” he mutters, as his tail retreats to hide behind his body. His hands automatically go to snake around your body as well, returning your hug. 

“Okay.. but am I allowed to touch it again?” you ask, almost unashamedly. You look up at him with a pleading expression, only to be met with a small frown. “No.” He coldly replies, as he looks away. 

“Awwwww… Pleaaseee?” You ask again, “Maybe you’ll like it!” Your hand slides down to his tail, only for it to disappear, as he hides it again. You jokingly let out a dramatic, feigned-hurt gasp at the lack of touch.

With this, Dan Heng rolls his eyes and scoffs, unwrapping his arms around you and walking away to go to his bathroom. (If there even are separate bathrooms in each of their rooms…). As the poor man tried to get ready for bed, you would not stop poking at him, trying to coax him into satisfying your curiosities.

This went on for about 10 minutes, until he couldn’t take it anymore. 

“ONE STROKE!”

“Dan Heenngggg..”

“If you don’t let me, you don’t love me..” “PLEASE!!!”

“Okay, fine.” He huffs at you, as he crosses his arms and sits at the edge of his bed. “But they’re sensitive, so… just- just be cautious.” Dan Heng warns you, giving you a glare before closing his eyes. 

You basically squealed in joy, “YIPPEE!!!” Jumping on the bed, you sit with your legs crossed, as you position yourself right behind his back. Dan Heng’s tail was on your lap, as it swayed from side to side ever so slightly. 

Upon placing your palms on the rough scales, his face started to heat up. His torso leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees, covering his lower face with his palm. As you slowly pet Dan Heng’s tail, for him, it felt slightly ticklish. Probably the same sensation of whenever you would play with his hair. 

Imagine — Cuddling (biased towards his tail)

As Dan Heng spoons you from behind, your legs rest firmly against each other. His arms went to slide around your waist, locking you against his chest. “Goodnight." He mumbles against your ear, giving you slight goosebumps.

On the other hand, your forearms rested right on top of his, as your thumb gently rubbed his hand. “Goodnight, sleep well.” You whisper back to him, closing your eyes.

Just as you were drifting off to sleep, you feel something slightly open your legs and swiftly slide between them. Peaking open your eyes to see what it was, the soft glow of his tail greets your sight. You fondly smile, as it curves up and rests against your lower body and stomach, cuddling you tighter against his own body. 

You keep an arm on top of one of his arms, as you sacrifice the other to wrap around his tail, gently caressing it too. As you’re about to let go of the final threads of consciousness, you hear him hum in contentment and fatigue. A small smile etches on your face at the reassuring sound, making your heart flutter. You both fall asleep in each other’s arms, one night of many more to come. 

[sugawhaaa]

💄Ateez smut headcanons💄

🌸Cock sizes/description🌸

A/N:: this is all for shits and giggles and should be taken with a grain of salt. Also these are just my opinions and if u disagree that's okay 🥰 u let ur little delulu mind go wild pookems <3 don't ask why Sans is a whole ahh essay compared to the other members idk...he's not even my bias...

Ateez smut h/c links:: here

Hongjoong

I think we need to praise this man more tbh. He probably doesn't have a very thick cock but I know that thing is long as hell. If you're the typa person who likes deep throating you should fear this man because there will be a bulge in your throat. It twitches a lot when he's about to cum and if you pull back you can physically see it inch back and forth in desperation. He may not have all the attributes to be associated with a "Good cock" but the main point is he knows how to fucking use it ;)

Seonghwa

Veiny as fuck. Similar to hongjoong, it's not very girthy per se but it is long. His main strength though is the texture on it. His veins are always bulging out like they're about to explode and his tip is very defined, the rim around it adding good texture. Another strong point he has is if you're doing reverse cowgirl or doggy style he has massive balls. I don't care how weird you call me I can just tell he does and they'd feel like heaven slapping against your clit.

Yunho

We got another long boy up in here but he's definitely thicker than the other two. His shaft would be so smooth, like silk omg I'm going insane. And his tip even more so. I feel like he's generally a pretty sensitive guy but that makes it all the more fun. When he first pushes past your tight walls just hugging his cock for dear life it'd somehow make him even harder. Also the rim to his tip has to be the thickest thing to face this earth dear lord.

Yeosang

Okay, this might be a hot take...I've seen other people headcanons for this prompt and everyone's like "he's a little baby!" No. Have you seen this man's body? Sure his dick might not be the longest of the group but it's thick and veiny as hell. Pair that with his massive and sensitive balls and you have better penetration than any of those 10-foot-long cocks.

San

This man...have any of yall seen that photo that was trending on Twitter where he was showing off the tattoo on his waist and there's a bunch of veins leading down his pants? FUCK BRO. (If you haven't I will post it for all eyes to see bc I literally busted on the spot) San is similar to Yunho in a lot of ways except more textured. He's got this perfectly shaped cock with a slight curl to it when he's hard, veins trailing right to the tip, a rosie red tip that's oh so sensitive to the touch, but he doesn't know how to use his beautiful cock 💔 not to say he's a complete dumbass when it comes to sex bc...let's be real but he's just not as skilled as he'd like to be 💔

Mingi

I have a simple statement to start off Mingi. Long and strong. Mingi has everything but his main strong point is his length. He's probably the longest in the group and God he loves abusing the power that comes with it. He loves to tease you with his tip, just barely putting it in and making you beg for him, making sure you include something all the lines of "put your long cock inside me" I feel like Mingi also has silky soft skin on his shaft like AH-sorry.

Wooyoung

Once again I feel like we need to praise Wooyoungs cock a bit more. He's very similar to Mingi. Definitely the second longest but his setback is he's quite thin and that's why he abuses circular motions in your pussy/ass. He'd sit you on top of him and roll his rough tip around every inch of your little hole, occasionally thrusting up into the sensitive spots. His lack of girth sounds like a big loss but he loves it, being able to tease to such an extent.

Jongho

Similar to Yeosang in a few ways. He may not be as long as a light post but he's got the girth and the veins. Once again he'd have heavy balls too, eager to slap against your ass or clit and it'd drive him WILD. He absolutely adores making you ride him in cowgirl and making you grind on his balls.

[the-fandom-is-now-my-life]

Sugar kisses

People's memories can be linked to places, smells or textures, today you attempt to awaken Jiro's memories with sweets!

Wc: 1,1k

Note: wrote this kind of quickly to see if he would come home after getting a fic like Leo

Update: he didn't.

When you found out Jiro was able to eat normal food when you fed him, Nicolás would have guessed that he would show some sliver of emotion and be interested in tasting different things without his body rejecting it but it seems like you found it more fun than him.

“So you are saying the inspector asked you to bring more candy? Why is it weird? Halloween is approaching”

Bentai downed his whiskey before swiping the glass towards Rui and looking at him “but you had to see how funny they looked dragging one of your ghouls around ugh… the tall one with scars? What was his name…” his words slurring together after his third drink.

“Jiro? Mhh… they must want to make him try new flavors”

“How cute! Another couple on campus that will buy things for valentine's and white day! Let's cheer for that, Rui two on the rocks in my tab” and the blond just smiles and serves the drinks.

.✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦. .✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦.

“You seem to be really interested in this” Jiro says absentmindedly before chewing on the candy corn you were pushing against his lips, his tongue is soon drowned in sickly strong sugar caramel-like taste he quickly swallows.

“You just told me you never ate sweets, I-”

“I said I don't remember eating them since I woke up, it's likely I have eaten when I was younger but can't remember”

“Then maybe you could remember something if we try enough” he nods at your logic, there could be a probability he remembers something before his comma, even if it's unlikely. Twisting around to grab your notebook your eyes watch expectantly “so? Anything?” it's endearing how you got a whole new notebook just to record his reaction to the various sweets, writing earnestly his opinion even if it wasn't more than a word.

“It's too sweet for me” is all he says before returning to the microscope, examining tissue from an anomaly. It isn't until you whine in disappointment that he looks to the side and sees you pout “it's originated from America, I doubt I would have tasted it before. Maybe a more traditional sweet would be more likely” even if he had a pessimistic forecast for this, Yuri already attempted to at the time with no results, seeing your determined smile made a nice feeling of lightness settle between his ribs.

If candy corn was too sweet and he disliked how fudge stuck to his teeth, something about cavities and it being annoying to clean, then what could he like… After some thinking, Zenji’s voice booms in your head ‘and when Jiro was a baby his cheeks were as pink and full as strawberry dango!’ He even took his time following after you when you were buying candy, telling you all kinds of stories he remembers about Jiro that could be useful (even if he didn't remember him having a favorite food). Haku even seemed sad when you returned him his ghost.

“Let's try dango” luckily a Hotarubi student agreed to make you a batch of hanami dango even if he thought it was weird as it wasn't anywhere near Sakura watching season “open wide~”

And Jiro, ever so agreeable, turns around from his almost finished investigation and does as asked biting into the soft rice cake while gently holding your wrist between his thumb, pointer and middle finger. At first it was weird how he never had his full hand around you or refused to play wrestle ‘I don't want to hurt you accidentally’ he would say and you would smile, he couldn't possibly be strong to hurt you just having his hand around you, or so you though before seeing him snap an IV drip in half because he held it too tightly.

“Do you like it?” The question slips a few seconds after he starts chewing hoping he would have an opinion other than ‘too sweet’ or ‘fine’ but his expression -or lack of- tells you that he doesn't love it or even feel strongly about it, just like all the other candies you bought for the mini picnic date.

Still, hope is the last thing that gets lost, so you get him to try the other flavors he might possibly like more. Second flavor, no reaction “well, even if we don't find one you like I can see your cute face! Your cheeks are as round as mochi~!”

At the comment he stops chewing. Everyone would have guessed he caught his partner's compliment, but of course Jiro didn't and thought they wanted to eat “If you are hungry you can eat it, I don't mind”

“Eh? If you don't like it just tell me, I also got other types and-”

“My stomach won't really agree with it”

“Is it rejecting food again?? I will call Yuri”

“No… I'm just not used to eating so much yet” ah, it makes sense, he hasn't really eaten anything solid for a year without puking it out.

Defeated, you sit on the table beside Jiro, feet kicking the air while you pour the sweet soy sauce over the mitarashi dango. Having failed at both targets, making him remember Zenji and finding a food he likes, ruined your mood for the day

Without much hunger but not wishing to waste food you start eating until a deep voice breaks the silence.

“Why are you so insistent on this?”

“What do you mean?”

“insistent on getting my memories back”

“I just think it's sad” teeth dig into the rice cake drenched in syrup and tear it into small pieces that are easier to eat without much care for the string of liquid sliding down the corner of your mouth “If I were to forget my family and friends and all my experiences… It would be depressing”

Jiro mumbles something that is quite hard to make into a sentence because of the volume and how close the words are together “did you say something?”

getting your face closer to his in an attempt to understand his scarred hand grabs your chin and plants a kiss just where the candy was.

His eyes light up with impish joy and a boyish laugh escapes from his lips just like when he scares you or Yuri “you are really jumpy, how cute” his tongue collects the remnant sauce from his lips to the inside of his mouth.

Without a care about your warm cheeks he gets up from the chair and walks off to the door to deliver the paper but teases with a light smile “I don't truly mind not remembering anything before waking up, but if you care so much we can make new memories together”

[effy-writes]

hiii um. I see that u area takin requests but uh WARNING this one deals with autism symptoms and specifically poor eating habits so if thats triggering or anything plz feel free to disregard completely. i yam struggling with some severe autistic burnout rn and its causing some texture issues with eating (everything is disgusting and i want to cry when i try to eat anything that isnt a dry pack of ramen LOL) and i am distraught about it, i was wondering if u could write a blitzø x autistic reader (one shot, fem or gender neutral) who is . Struggling w that?? also no need for an established relationship i yam a sucker for pining and would love to see blitzø’s emotionally constipated ass all worried abt his crush and noticing them making weird faces while trying very hard to eat something and is like. “R u about to throw up. WHY ARE U CRYING” n e way like i said fele fre to ignore if this ur not comfy writin this ily mwah

Ofc!! I have autism as well and i also have shit eating habits. I can’t even stomach chicken on the bone bc of the fat, tendons and the BONE. i hope you liked this!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blitzø x GN! Autistic! Reader: Eat Something

content warning: feeling overstimulated, burnt out, details about food textures, details about textures

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Autism is something that you have to live with your whole life. Ever since you were little you especially struggled with texture issues. Whether it's velvet, cotton balls, leather, but you specifically struggled with food textures.

However when it comes to food textures some days were better than others. The days where you weren't so burnt out you could handle a handful amount of specific food, but on days like this where you're so overstimulated and burned out you can barely even drink water because of the lack of texture in it.

When it comes to working for I.M.P, you can put on a good mask so the others won't think you're a burden (you're not, it's just you have insecurities about being autistic). However on days like this where you have poor eating habits because of the autism it can be very hard to mask it.

Everyone at I.M.P went out to get lunch together, but you couldn't even bare to eat at cheap ass restaurants or fast food. So, you made up an excuse to not go with them. Millie asked why but all you told her was that you weren't in the mood for going out in public. Moxxie asked if you wanted them to bring you something back but you politely declined.

Blitz stayed in the office to "organize" the clients target's information. And by organizing just reading them and then tossing it to the other side of the office.

You took your safe food out of your bookbag and sat it in front of you. Dry noodles. You didn't want to boil them because of the slime texture that'll soon be in your mouth. It even made you gagged by thinking about it.

You opened the package and tore off a small piece before finally placing the dry, hard noodle in your mouth.

Your face scrunched up in disgust, you wanted to spit it out but you barely ate anything in the past couple of days. You swollowed and a cold shiver went through your body.

You wanted to stop but your stomach was saying otherwise. You took another bite and gagged, spitting it out.

“Fuck!” You yelled out of frustration, grabbing Blitz’s attention.

He peaked outside of his office and saw you picking at the hard noodles before chewing and swollowing it. He saw your face scrunched up again as your fist hit the table.

“Are you about to throw up?” He said nonchalantly.

You looked at him and dry swollowed the not-so-safe-food anymore. Blitz got out of his office and stood in front of you on the other side of the table.

“Need a trashcan or something?”

You looked down at the noodles and mentally cursed yourself. This was supposed to be your safe food but now you can hardly stomach it. Out of tiredness and frustration you silently sobbed over the dry noodles.

“WHY ARE YOU CRYING?!” He frantically said, not really knowing how autism works.

“Because this was supposed to be my safe food and I can hardly eat it because I’m so fucking burned out.” You sobbed.

“Oh.” He quietly said before sitting down across from you. “Is there anything I can do?”

You shrugged, “Not really.”

Blitz thought for a moment, “How about I dim the lights and you listen to your favorite music? Or, or how about your favorite show?” He really wanted to help you out.

“I guess so, but i’m so fucking hungry.”

“I know, but if we make this place underestimulated then maybe it’ll help? To be honest I don’t know how acousticism works.”

“Autism.” You bluntly said.

“Shit, right autism.”

You rolled your eyes as a small smile crept on your face. “Yeah, let’s do that.”

Blitz smiled and dimmed the lights, “You got them fancy headphones or something?”

You shook your head.

“I have cheap ones but they’re better than nothing.” He went back to his office and grabbed headphones that has those horse shaped ears on the headband and handed them to you. “Do you want music?”

“Just silence.”

“Is there anything else?”

“No. Thank you, Blitz.”

“Let me know if you need anything else, I need to go back and organize the papers and shit.”

“Oh, yeah for sure, go for it.”

The next hour or so you helped Blitz organize the papers by the area of which targets live at. The silence, the dim lighting, and the organizing papers by location reset yourself. After telling Blitz this, he happily boiled the noodles for you to eat. You were grateful for him, and he was happy to help his crush out.

[adobe-outdesign]

Have you reviewed nimmos by any chance? They arent my favourite pet but i do think my dislike of them comes from how theyre posed rather than their actual design

We actually have two different frog Neopets, but I will say they're pretty different from each other. While Quiggles are inherently silly guys and very short, Nimmos are tall and considerably less silly. In contrast, hey have a sort of meditative guru vibe to them, which is sort of evident in the pose with the hands and the stance.

In terms of the design, I like them overall. The wide mouth makes for a fun kind of :3 expression, and the body has a pretty distinct shape to it that makes it so they're not too much like a real frog. I could kind of take or leave the underbelly—I don't mind it, but they're thin enough that it doesn't feel like it's needed to break up the space, and it feels like it should go under the mouth as well or something.

I also agree that the posing of these guys is a little weird, as they're stuck in like a weird sideways slav squat. I like the idea of them having long frog legs in contrast with the Quiggle, but the problem is that the knees of the legs go to the side instead of the front, when in reality they should be facing forward like at least 20% more and the top part should be more horizontal to the body. The butt being above the ground rather than on it also doesn't help anything. Oddly, there also aren't many options that let you break from this pose—even colors like Faerie maintain the same off putting leg structure.

Nimmos have mostly stayed the same after customization and arguably improved, with minor fixes like adjusting the feet so they're actually at the right perspective relative to the body.

Favorite Colours:

Baby: First off, having the baby Nimmo just be a tadpole is a great concept, and secondly, it's pretty cute as well. The face is just similar enough for it to still look like a Nimmo, and the dark spots on the body provide nice contrast with the more teal-ish colored tail. There's both a converted and UC/styled version, though this is a rare instance where the converted is way better—the pose is more lively, the pupils are larger so it looks less dead-eyed, and the shading has been improved.

Toy: The toy Nimmo is actually based on the IRL Sand Critters frog plush, but even if you didn't recognize it off the bat, it's still a great design all around. The green and orange striping makes for a nice palette, the subtle spotting adds a nice texture, and the red eyes pop. Also, this kind of highlights what I was talking about earlier with the underbelly—it looks a lot more natural extended up onto the jaw.

Wraith: The wraith Nimmo is not the best wraith pet or anything—the swirls are very arbitrarily placed over the body instead of contouring and playing with the body's actual shapes, and the bulk of the swirls are a bit too low-contrast. However, the big thing here is the lovingly detailed face... on the stomach, with a regular face to match. I have no idea why it's like this because no other Wraith pet does this, but damn if it doesn't look cool as hell, and more than makes up for the lack of flow in the rest of the body. I also really like the neat swirly pupils they used here.

BONUS: The Maraquan Nimmo is both one of the worst and yet also one of the best Maraquan pets, and I absolutely hate and love it. Why is it a spider crab? Why does it just look like a normal crab with a Nimmo's face? Who cares. 10/10 get this thing out of my house

[velvetvexations]

For your friend asking about testosterone, because I think the answers are good but are also lacking perspective from someone for whom testosterone was not the solution in the end: TW brief mention of genitals

I took T for 3 months. I took it at the starting low dose, they determined that I was absorbing it too effectively and lowered it even more. Within those three months, the most notable changes for me personally:

- Clitoral growth. This was the first thing that happened for me, in a weird uno-reverse of most peoples' situations that I've seen. This change stayed.

- Libido. I simply did not have one prior to testosterone. Now I very much do- even only having taken it for 3 months, I experience a way more physical feeling of Need To Get Off than I did prior to testosterone. This change stayed.

- Vocal Fry. My voice dropped probably half an octave very quickly- I still sound recognizably 'female', but I sound like I'm early-hormonal-transition. I also did lose my ability to scream. This change stayed.

- Acne. I had horrific acne for the three months I was on T. I've heard this is normal and does go away when you stay on testosterone. This change did not stay.

- Hair growth. I have dark, long hairs on my chest and belly that were not there before, but they're soft and not a bother to me personally. However, I do grow a gnarly teen-boy's-first-facial-hair situation if I don't shave or pluck every day, after only 3 months. This may be unique to the weird readiness with which my body accepted the testosterone, as I often hear facial hair growth is pretty slow for a lot of trans men. But on the off chance that you have that same kind of situation, be absolutely sure that the texture of prickly hair on your chin and the skin around your mouth is something you're gonna be cool with dealing with, because once it comes in it doesn't go away. For most trans men this isn't an issue, I'm just a) not a man after all and b) autistic in the 'touching prickly things sucks' way.

I wasn't on T long enough for any negative side effects to show up, but the clinic I was at was very thorough with telling me what potential side effects there were, and frankly, I have to second what everyone else so far has said- the risks 'increase' to... basically what they would have been had you been born a cis man, in most cases. And if you decide it isn't for you, as I did after 3 months, even if many changes are permanent, you can still stop taking it and your life will not be ruined. It's not a poison, it's just inducing your body to have a different hormone profile than it did before. Nothing that changes in your body is a characteristic that no other person on earth has. You'll be fine. If you want to try it, try it.

Thank you! This is a very important add-on.

[lqfiles]

✰ dating park jisung.

spontaneous dates.

dates with jisung will never be planned beforehand, 9/10 they’re planned on the spot. spending time at his and he will suddenly stand up, telling you that he wants to go and get ice cream together. or you could be watching tv at night before he asks you if the two of you can go outside to go star gazing. jisung loves the sudden excitement he gets from it, coming up with random ways of spending time with you is something he looks forward to which is why he always reminds you to keep your schedule open for him.

listening to his rambles.

jisung loves talking about anything. he’s a curious guy and because of his limited childhood he has a lot of stuff he’s inexperienced about which makes him very… thoughtful? he never runs out of questions and topics to talk about, and quite frankly, it’s very cute to listen to. watching him go from asking if you think he’ll ever be able to make a five star dinner for the two of you, to telling you about how he finds it ridiculous that people think aliens exist. he truly never runs out of topics.

jealous jisung is a cute jisung.

when jealous, jisung would most likely feel weird and sulky. he could be seeing you have fun with someone else that isn’t him and feel like you’re going to leave him after your done talking with that person. you could be telling him you’re busy and his mind would think you’re seeing someone else, which is why you have started to clarify what your plans are before leaving his place. sulky jisung would give you the cold shoulder and just be very pouty. “because you obviously don’t like me, right?” is his go to reason whenever you ask him what’s bothering him, but a small kiss could clear up all the misunderstandings.

how he asked you out.

it probably took him months and lots of courage to ask you out. jisung would not ask you out until he’s 100% sure you like him back, which is why he gets his friends to help him out by asking you very specific hypothetical questions regarding him, or he’ll suggest the idea of dating him every now and then, observing your reactions to make sure it was positive. he’d want to ask you out in a place where the is no one else, maybe while the two of you are hanging out alone. telling himself to breath and breath out, he’d tell you he needs to get something off his chest before he tells you he likes you a lot and would love the idea of being a couple, which much to his luck you agreed to!

kisses.

jisung rarely initiates kisses. the few times he does it took him a lot of self preparation, telling him that it’s okay because you’re his significant other. he’d be very shy as he asks you for permission to give you a kiss and when you say that it’s okay because he’s your boyfriend, he sighs before slowly leaning in and giving you a quick peck that was enough for him to feel his inside explode from excitement. and if he’s feeling bold he might even ask you if he can kiss you again, to which you tell him that he’s quite literally youre boyfriend. his kisses might be awkward at first but they’re nice the longer it goes on. when he kisses you, it’s like whatever you were lacking on your lips are completed by his as they’re almost perfectly fit for you. the soft texture of his lips against yours feels so nice that you can’t help but ask him for another one.

[urban-fleabag]

hi!! i do feel kinda weird for asking for therian tips like right after you got an ask on the same subject but i was def wondering if i could have any feline tips? for reference i am a cladotherian (felidae) and i kinda just have felt kinda disconnected from my therianthropy so i was wondering if theres anything i can do about that? i am not comfy meditating just for personal reasons and i dont do much quads or vocals due to an unsafe environment in my home. i kind of am generally wanting tips and things that can pass as human behavior just as a heads up!! im really sorry again if this is a super picky ask / if you dont want to do another one of these therian tip posts,,, thank you in advance if you end up responding <3 (/p heart)

You're all good, and I don't mind helping out where I can! You're not being picky, you're being specific and that's totally fine.

Anything that makes your room feel more comfortable to you is gonna be a huge help, since it's your space. If I understand right, cladotherians are all of that type of animal, right? That means you've got a ton of options to try out to see what room arrangements feel like a cozy home, and which of those you can pass off as a "nature aesthetic"- when I was a little kid my room was entirely jungle themed because I was absolutely obsessed with animals, and if when I moved in with my grandma I could've kept it I absolutely would've. Having a nature theme in there that's similar to an environment you'd have lived in could make you feel more at home!

Next, birdwatching in the park or your yard can definitely feel like you're watching prey, especially if you're in a housecat type of mood, and that's easily a human behavior too! If you have a couch or chair that gets nice Sunbeam light during the day, I also recommend a nap there once in a while- therian or not that just feels good. If anyone asks, just say you got too cozy and dozed off. And, if you're the type to establish a territory, just walking in nature could really help you out here! Doubly so if you're feeling connected at the moment to a cat that suits the climate and current weather- take a nature walk and remind yourself that you're at home and you're part of all this.

All felines are obligated carnivores, so adding some extra meat (or meat-textured non meat foods if you don't eat meat) to your diet could make you feel like you're feeding your inner cat! If anyone asks, which they shouldn't, say you're just making sure you get enough protein, or if fish is your meat of choice, there are SO many good nutrients in fish that no one's going to question your uptick there.

Make the lack of vocals for you an advantage to you if you can. Many cats, especially feral domesticated cats, don't make a lot of sounds to start with! Housecats only meow as kittens and to humans for the most part, for example! So you might not be able to roar like a lion, but you can absolutely quietly stalk through your house like a panther, silent as to not alert your prey (leftovers in the fridge).

Also, if you've got a FiveBelow near you- they sell cat ear headphones! They're relatively cheap, under 15 iirc, comfortable and with decently good sound. It's gear without it being gear! If anyone questions, it's a trend to put cat ears on headphones right now, especially if you happen to be a gamer. I can personally attest to these, because they were the cheapest ones there for a while I had a couple pairs and they're super comfy.

I also recommend playing games that have you playing as different felines- it's weird to say but Roblox has a lot of these, give some a try and really get into the mindset.

I hope this helped! And remember- one day, your circumstances will change, and you'll be able to be as openly yourself as you want to be. There's a place in this world for creatures like us. ❤️

[cloudyswritings]

Hornet things: Assorted Headcanons

I felt like talking about Hornet(skong) again.

She’s actually got 8 limbs like a normal spider, 2 arms, 2 legs, and 4 wings. She hasn’t been able to complete the molt where she’ll get her wings because of Hallownest being frozen in time basically.

Bugs tend to mistake her face for her mask, but basically she’s got the same thing the Pale King had going on, where her face is basically also a mask.

Shes got lungs, which give her way more endurance than the average bug, especially in terms of how far she can travel before taking a break. Because she’s got a lot of vertebrate biology going on(yk wyrm things) she’s way heavier than most bugs would expect her to be

Like most spiders she prefers live prey or soups(only in “polite” company)

She inherited her fathers extremely potent acid that he used to aid in burrowing through stone, in her case it acts as her venom. Due to how fast acting it is, and the fact it’s not really a venom per se Hornet ends up being a messy eater for a spider. She carries a bowl around to help catch any mess she makes.

Shes also puts mineral dust and metal shavings into her soup to help her get the metals that her wyrm biology requires.

Shes got two hearts actually, which kinda freaked Herrah out when baby Hornet first went in for a checkup with midwife.

She could eventually metamorphose into a wyrm proper if she lived long enough. She’d basically have to “save up” her light instead of using it for combat, and then really study Wyrm anatomy(probably by studying her fathers corpse) before consuming a ton of soul and inorganic materials. Then she could, with a ton of preparation and woven spells, begin to transition into a wyrm.

if she were to do this her light could do one of two things, skew red(more of a reddish pink really) or become pale like her father.

She’d start out being quite small for a wyrm, like probably at the size Wyrms are around a month after hatching.

She can sometimes actually see into the dream realm from the waking world, though she doesn’t particularly understand what she’s seeing. The same is true for when she’s actually in the dream. A lot of this owes to her parentage, but part of it is also magic that’s inherent to the spiders of deepnest.

She sometimes gets the urge to burrow, but lacks the physiology to actually do so(unlike vessels), this lead to her getting stuck in a lot of awkward places as a child.

Herrah invented the first sandbox(at least locally) to let Hornet dig without her being in danger.

She also “burrows” into her blankets when she sleeps and feels very uncomfortable sleeping without being completely covered in some kind of material(although she prefers heavy and somewhat coarse materials aka dirt and stones, blankets are good too though, especially rough quilts)

She absolutely loves dirtcarver meat and has absolutely no compunctions about eating it raw.

She’s somewhat resistant to the void compared to other mortals? Enough to survive brief contact but not to survive in void drenched environments like the black egg.

Hornet has relatively small spinerets, and as such can’t make as much silk the traditional way spiders do. She instead weaves hers out of soul, and uses her inherent light and divinity to make the soul physical.

She’ll never admit it but she likes the taste and texture of rotten eggs as a food, this is shockingly not from either of her parents and she’s just weird organically. Luckily for her wyrm biology makes it 100% safe to eat them.

She’s got throat teeth to help her process and break down metals she eats.

I’ve got a lot more to say about her tbh, so I’ll be making another one of these soon.

[wordsinhaled]

transmasc haircut woes ahead...

so i was growing out my hair again but it is starting to become annoying/a sensory nightmare this summer/doesn't feel like me/kinda gives me some dysphoria.

so i wanna give it the chop (again).

but the thing is i am. like. very intimidated by barber shops??? i live in a significantly queerer and more progressive city now than i used to which helps. but i'm still a tiny 4'10 pre-T transmasc person and i do not feel like i look like someone who "belongs" in a barber shop, if there is such a thing (i'm sure there isn't but the anxiety tells me there is).

i am sure i am overthinking it but being in like... a Designated Male Space feels quite scary. i struggle to even walk past florsheim's in the mall or have other men see me in the men's section of stores, if that gives you context on how scary all of this is for me. i have no idea what i think is gonna happen if i walk in there - like, anxiety brain says i'm gonna be gatekept out, people are gonna be like, "what are you doing here?" or "you're not masc enough to be in here," or whatever, i have LITERALLY no idea - and i'm sure i'm making a mountain out of a molehill and no one will actually be mean to me or bully me in a barber shop!

but the thing is i have like, no idea what goes on in there? and that's part of the anxiety, i guess. mind you, i know queer cis women go and get their hair cut in barber shops as well, so i guess... i also don't want to be read as that either?

i have gotten my hair cut before by a male hairdresser at a hair salon and it was a person my parents picked, a hair style my mom picked, and then he would dye my hair a Different Shade of Brown and my mom would give me frosted highlights or whatever at home, because she told me my natural hair color was boring and lacked depth. i had more or less zero control over the experience in terms of what i came out looking like. i was like... 23, 24 when this was still happening.

at one point, she took me to a consultation to get my hair chemically straightened (keratin, i think it was going to be) which would have gotten rid of my natural wavy texture, because i was "too lazy to put in the work" to do anything with my hair (because i wanted it to be short, most of the time, if anyone asked me). that was like, the one thing i brought myself to be able to say no to because. i didn't want to do that.

it took a while for my hair not to be processed to shit and to grow back in nice. but i fucking LOVE my natural hair color and texture and volume actually, it's beautiful, in my opinion, if i do say so myself. it's a lovely shade of brown and it's got amber/chestnut highlights in it in the sunshine and it has nice texture and it's soft. come pet my hair, basically.

anyway, sorry for the detour about Hair Styling Trauma but maybe this will help explain why the fuck i feel like i can't go and just Get My Hair Cut. lol, gotta love finally getting out from under the thumb of a narcissist and still having Shit Going On years later.

even up until the most recent time my hair was short, i have been going to hair salons (not barber shops) and i have been in that weird limbo of "girl asking for pixie cut," which is NOT the experience i want this time. every hairdresser i've ever had is always like, are you sure you want it this short? the last person who cut my hair was a pretty chill italian guy (like, came recently from italy, spoke italian in his shop, not like long-time italian-american type italian) who felt... probably the safest i've found because he was sort of relaxed about the whole thing and didn't get weird about it. but even with him, as close as i managed to verbalize what i want was to ask for something "gender neutral" because it felt like. incredibly scary to be like, "i do not want to look like girl. please do not make me look like girl."

he understood the assignment and is probably the one who would give me the best haircuts i've had. but even then it still sort of felt like i was... asking for it in a sort of weird adjacent-to-what-i-really-meant way and getting there by sheer coincidence of a person understanding the assignment vs like. please make me look more like boy. am not girl trying to look like boy. am not edgy girl with pixie cut. you feel me???

edit: also. i don't think that hair is inherently gendered one way or another, it's just like... the way that people tend to gender the process/different types and styles of hair that makes me uncomfortable and makes me feel misgendered. and like the perceptions of you that people have. and that a lot of the vibe is going to depend on how whatever individual haircut works with my face. and that when i go on T these things may also change. so i'm not trying to like... binary the hair but also... it's the dysphoria of how people talk to you/look at you/etc. at personal care places, you know?

i don't even necessarily want something with zero length, because my hair tends to look good when there's something there to style, but i just ... i don't want a Women's Short Haircut, you know??? at the same time i know that i have a Lot of Hair and people have fucked up my short haircuts before so i don't want a Bad Haircut either. i don't feel like i can do the same shit i always do again where i come in and sit there silently and slightly embarrassedly while i secretly hack my way into gender euphoria while the person thinks they're cutting a girl's hair.

anyway, what the fuck do i do and how do i not feel like dysphoria central during this whole process? what is a barber shop like? what do people talk about in there? can i just be quiet? is everything going to clock that i have not socialized with men like ever but want to? idk, do i lead with being transmasc? do i just bring sample photos of men's haircuts only and have a conversation about how they will work with my face shape? do i just say i am trying to look Not Like a Girl? that seems. incredibly terrifying. i would bring a queer friend to chill me out, but i haven't made any here yet to be able to bring.

asdjdjfj if u have read this far thank you and sorry for being a hot mess !!!